#also they gave me a honey patch to try

[sevenangrybees]

My surgeon gave me medical grade honey to put on my problem nipple and the urge to lick the applicator after every dressing change is so so strong....

[amazinglyashy]

Hi hi I just found your blog like an hour ago and I’ve been scrolling and am obsessed with the way you write for the l&ds!! ❤️❤️ if you don’t mind I love a little angst and was wondering if you could write the boys reacting to MC showing up at their doorstep heavily injured from like a fight with a wanderer.

Oh my gosh thank you!!! And I don't mind at all, my friends make fun of me for how much I enjoy hurt/comfort and angst :'D Thank you for the request!

LaDS men react to you appearing on their doorstep, injured and bleeding

Xavier -

If you end up at his door, it's more than likely because your unconscious decided to hit the button for his floor rather than your own. You just wanted to get home, not bother anyone, but he's stood right there. Having just come home from grabbing a late night snack from a nearby convenience store, you stumbled out of the elevator right as he's unlocking his front door.

He drops his keys and his bag.

It's a good thing too, because your legs gave out right then, so it's much better for him to catch you if his arms are free.

He's calling your name, and while you're still conscious, you're not really processing anything anymore. You're in too much shock, and you've lost too much blood by now.

He'll get the door unlocked and rush you inside his apartment, setting you down on his couch as he runs for a first aid kit, calling the association for emergency services while he does so.

"You're going to be okay. I promise. Just continue to breathe, alright?"

Xavier doesn't know if he's saying that to comfort you or himself, but he also isn't stopping to think about it, as he rapidly administers first aid to your wounds to at least slow the bleeding until help can arrive.

It's three in the morning but he's wide awake sitting next to your bed at the hospital, something unnatural for someone so sleep deprived usually.

He can't bring himself to shut his eyes though.

It's not work the risk.

Not until you wake up first.

Zayne -

It's like his brain splits into two the moment that he sees you standing there.

One side is his medical knowledge rushing forward as he moves to catch you as your feet stumble beneath you, trying to impossibly assess the extent of the damage before even getting to see it all. It's the half that's taking you to his kitchen table, because it's the easiest workspace for him right now. The one that's pulling out his doctor's bag from the closet in the hall, and the first aid kit from the cupboard in the kitchen as he cuts your shirt open.

The other side?

Oh honey, his heart is breaking.

If you think there's a day at work where he doesn't pray to any existent or nonexistent god that he doesn't see you today, spread out on a gurney or operating table without warning due to your unconscious state, then you'd be painfully wrong.

It's amazing how well he works while panicking on the inside, his skilled hands patching your wounds after meticulous sterilization, any sutures needed placed perfectly even through your pained groans tugging at his heart.

He knows he needs to get you to the hospital, even though he's taken good care of you in his own home. But he needs to sink to the floor for a minute, his back dragging against the wall as he heaves a deep sigh. It's a heavy toll feeling the stick of the dried blood on his hands- your blood on his hands.

With all his knowledge, he knows you'll be okay. He knows he himself will be okay. But right now-

He's not.

Sylus -

The N109 zone is beyond dangerous, mostly due to the criminals and leeches lurking in the dark shadows, but there's also no shortage of Wanderers, including ones that have been genetically altered to be even worse than they normally were.

So when Sylus sees you stumbling at his doorstep, bloodied hand reaching for the knob as he glances at the camera feed, he's not sure he could say he's ever moved so fast in his life otherwise. "Sweetie-" He breathes, as he catches you, scooping you up and rushing you inside as quickly as he possibly can without aggravating your already extensive injuries.

Luke is already running for first aid, and Kieran is already contacting the doctor. Mephisto is shrieking in the hall as he follows Sylus to his bedroom, protesting the fact that Sylus had needed him for surveillance of a target today instead of watching you.

Sylus knows.

He knows this is his fault.

If he had had someone keeping an eye on you, this wouldn't have happened.

His eyes are glued to your barely conscious form in his arms, the guilt in the recesses of his heart digging deeper with every slather of red that painted your skin.

Sorry to say, you're going to have your work cut out for you when you wake up. It's going to take a lot of heavy lifting on your part to convince him that he's not at fault for what happened to you.

And you will be waking up.

Sylus will make sure of that.

Rafayel -

Don't make his nightmares a reality.

Not again.

He's catching you before you can even begin to sway, and he'll be lucky if he remembers to shut the door behind him, his body melding against yours as he picks you up and runs down to his car.

"No, no no no. You stay awake, cutie."

He's definitely breaking at least a dozen laws just trying to get you to Akso hospital as quickly as he can. His mind is racing as fast as his car is moving down the streets, wondering what could have happened to you, what he should be doing right now, if he should have administered first aid to you before taking off-

But he's there so fast, it would have been nearly identical on the clock regardless of him still choosing to rush you to the hospital, or run to get and administer first aid for you from within his home.

He's there until you wake up- wide awake no matter how long it takes. It could be minutes, hours, days- he can't sleep. The image of you dying before him- the image of you standing on his doorstep as well- etched on the back of his eyelids every time he tried to close his eyes.

He talks to you even when you're not awake, stroking your hand, your cheek, the side of your neck- trying to make sure you're as comfortable as he can make you.

When you wake up again, he has to hold himself back with everything in him from squeezing you too tightly. He doesn't want to burst your stitches or harm you, but his body and arms are all-encompassing on you as he hugs you firmly, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

He really doesn't need you to see him cry.

[lovebugism]

hey honey can i request a shy!reader x grumpy!eddie , maybe they’re pumpkin picking with friends & something angsty ensues but then fluffy & after they all go eat at the diner and get spooky themed orders 🤭

thanks for requesting lovie! — eddie gets grumpy on a fall outing with the gang (shy!reader, established relationship, hurt/comfort, 1.3k)

fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

Eddie’s a big ol’ grump at Eugene’s Pumpkin Patch, but he’s being really brave about it. He follows you like a puppy, visibly unamused about the whole thing but trying hard to be a good boyfriend despite his woe.

“Ah! Look at this one!” you gasp at the sight of a pumpkin, in a sea of bright orange pumpkins. 

Swallowed whole by your sweater, you crouch in the tall grass and reach for the tiny round thing hidden in it. The runt pumpkin sits neatly in your palms. “It’s so wittle,” you singsong up at Eddie in a tiny, high-pitched voice.

He smiles despite himself, laughing even though he’s grumpy, ‘cause you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“I’m gonna get this one,” you announce affirmatively when you rise to full height again.

“You made me drive an hour out just to get the tiniest pumpkin they have?” Eddie asks, laughing still but with a subtle bite of annoyance.

You try to ignore it, though the weight of his aggravation makes you writhe. “But it’s cute…” you defend with a weak shrug. “And also, you have to get one, remember?”

You take a tentative step towards Eddie, standing chest to chest. He huffs and puts his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His chocolate eyes flit around the expansive farm, dull and unimpressed. “They all look the same, so… I don’t think it really matters.”

“It does matter!” you insist, girlish and quiet and stubborn. “You have to pick the one you like the most— that’s the whole point!”

“You’re telling me there’s an art to pumpkin picking?” the boy teases with a crooked grin, tilting his head to the side so his curls bunch at his shoulder.

Still clutching the tiniest pumpkin either of you have ever seen, you nod. “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

He scoffs again in a curt laugh. He looks around again, only to point to the one sitting by his feet.

“Alright… How about that one?”

“Eddie!”

“What?” he whines in the same pouty tone as you.

“Can you at least pretend you’re having fun?” you murmur, a bit sad you have to even ask. 

You always spiral when he gets weird, secretly terrified that it’s all your fault. He doesn’t talk, so you overthink. Your brain gets mean, and you need Eddie to make you feel better — but he can’t because he’s weird. It’s unbearable. For both of you.

“It’s cold and rainy and Steve’s pants gave me a headache on the way over and I don’t feel good, okay? I’m sorry,” Eddie rambles with a pout, looking visibly pained about all of it.

Any excitement you had left leaves you like an ebbing tide. “Okay,” you mutter with a soft nod.

“I’m gonna go smoke,” the boy announces. 

He smacks a fleeting kiss to your cheek before he goes but doesn’t bother to invite you to come with him. He doesn’t feel very deserving of your company right now, too selfish in his woe and painfully self-aware about it.

You stand in place while he walks back to the van, feeling utterly alone and unwanted.

“Where’d Eddie go?” Steve wonders when he walks up to you with Robin at his side. 

They carry two pumpkins each, struggling with each of them because they’ve somehow managed to find the biggest ones on the whole farm. You figure they made a bet about it because everything’s a competition with them.

“Um… to smoke, I think,” you answer shyly, embarrassed to have been found alone for a reason you can’t name. “He just kinda… left.”

Robin scoffs. “I think he’s on his period,” she jokes with a gritty laugh.

“Yeah. He said my pants looked stupid before we left. I knew something was up.”

The brunette girl side-eyes the boy beside her. “I think he might’ve been right about that one, Stevie.”

You make a quiet exit when they begin to bicker back and forth. You duck through the bustling pumpkin patch and try not to trip in the tall grass on your way to Eddie’s van. 

Your boots crunch over the gravel of the parking lot. You find him leaning against the trunk, blowing out smoke from his pink mouth, slouching like he’s weighed down by his own sadness. 

“You okay, Eds?” you ask to announce your arrival. 

His eyes widen when he realizes you’re there. He’d pretend to be fine if it didn’t take all the energy he had left. “No,” he answers honestly, then quickly corrects, “I mean— I am, but… I feel bad. I was acting like a dick…”

“Yeah,” you concur with a nod. “You were.”

He’s too shocked to hide it on his face. You’re never normally so confrontational. You’re usually too quiet for that, too soft. And you still are now, because you always are, but he feels like he deserves to see this sterner side of you.

“But it’s okay. I know you didn’t wanna come in the first place.”

He turns on his shoulder when you stand at his side, towering over you as he flicks the butt of his cigarette. “Yeah, but… I didn’t have to be such an asshole to you about it. I feel like I fuckin’ ruined this whole day, you know?”

“We all have our moments, Eds. It’s no big deal,” you assure with a weak shrug and a stronger smile. “We still have the whole afternoon left— you didn’t ruin anything. Doesn’t make me love you any less, either.”

Your words make him grin. Like, really grin — all wide and rosy and boyish. You make him smile like nothing’s ever hurt him. Like nothing’s ever been wrong in his life. Fuck, he’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.

“I love the shit outta you, you know that?” he mumbles but doesn’t give you a chance to answer. He tosses the cigarette to the ground and snuffs it out with his sneaker right before kissing you absolutely stupid.

He wraps his arms around your neck, smothering your face with his. No one’s ever been kissed as hard as he’s kissing you now. The realization makes you smile too wide to kiss him back.

He pulls away from you with a hearty smack. With pinker lips and chocolate eyes, he grins hopefully down at you. “So you’re not mad at me?” he wonders, gentle like a child.

“Yes,” you nod, playfully firm. “I’m very mad, actually.”

Eddie’s smile widens. He knows you’re joking and decides to lean into it. “What can I do then, huh?” he murmurs lowly to you, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “How can I make it up to you?”

He wants to kiss you again. He wants to get you in the back of his van in a vacant parking lot. He wants you to tell him to make you feel good and not to stop until you’re pushing him away.

You know all of this, ‘cause you can practically read his mind, so you decide to drive him crazier. “I want you…” you start in the same low tone, bordering on sultry. 

Eddie’s already nodding. 

You smile and continue. 

“…To go pick your most favorite pumpkin in the whole patch, and then take me to Benny’s Burgers.”

Feeling slightly disappointed and utterly teased, Eddie searches the entire patch and finds the weirdest-shaped, wartiest pumpkin the earth has ever grown. He drives the gang to the diner after and sits you in his lap when all of you squeeze into one booth. 

He shares his milkshake with you and lets you have the pickle slice that comes with his burger when you ask for it (‘cause everyone knows it’s the best part). It’s the purest form of love, if he has anything to say about it.

[bitchimasnake-sss]

Sleep nonnie again. Is it okay if I go by 🦊🌲 its easier.

Anyways I think it would be a funny scenario if you suggest to the op boys to keep their hands warm by putting them between your thighs. I know some boys would just get a heart attack if you suggest that and get a cute blush

say whAT NOW?? NONNIE HELLO AND WELCOME BACK!! (dm me so that we can be friends ur fic ideas are so out of pocket i love it); also, gonna add ace cause i see many ace thirsties out there ;)

let me warm you up ft. the monster trio//ace!

luffy:

💗when he agreed to this, he didn't know just what kind of uncharted territory he was entering. he was simply not prepared. you had given him such a soft smile, taking his hands into yours as gingerly, "luff, are you cold?" he had nodded a mindless yes because you were crossing a terribly cold patch of the sea and his hands were freezing. but then held his hand a bit tighter and whispered, "i can warm them up for you. if you like?" he was too drunk on the idea to see the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you spurred him on with your honey-like voice.

💗so now, he sat in front of you, eyes blown wide and lips trembling as his hands rested between your plush thighs. you had squeezed your thighs shut around his restless hands, claiming that it'll get him warm in little to no time. but god, this was hard (much like something else) and he was trying his best to keep his fingers still and not do anything hasty, like digging it into your soft flesh and relishing in the way your body molded to his touches. or by trailing his hand a bit upwards and seeing the way you react. 💗"luffy??" you called out and captain shook his head as he crawled out of that daze like state, "y-yeah?" "you okay?" you mumbled, voice far too gentle. you fucking minx. "you seem like you're losing your mind." good catch! because he was. luffy abruptly pulled his hands backwards lest he do something that truly made him lose his sanity. he scrambled off of your bed, heading out the door into the chilly deck in long, skitterish steps. "where ya going?" you called after him but he rushed out, yelling after himself, "JUST GONNA WARM UP WITH USSOP INSTEAD BYE" did ussop have better thighs than you? you may never know.

zoro:

💚zoro was very stupid, very. he was not the smartest tool in the shed when it came to love or crushes or dating or cooking food or social cues or emotional intelligence or— i should stop before this turns into zoro slander [i promise i love him]. but now, the bounty hunter sat with his face flushed and hands tucked between your soft, malleable thighs. he was smarter than this, truly. he knew that when you suggested that he looked cold and you can warm him up, he was supposed to say "fuck no, get out." because having a crush on you was embarrassing enough on it's own. but you had given him such a gut-wrenching, pleading look. your eyes saddened and your lips fell into a pout and oh god, what was he, if not the man who would let you ruin him? 💚ever since he was a child, zoro had always known that he would die a noble swordman's death. he would die fighting, brave, courageous, unafraid. now, he was sure he'd die from the way you squirmed and pressed your thighs shut. "quit movin'" he grunted, looking away from you as your stared at him. but you tucked your arms against your chest and the soft swell of your tits fell forward towards him so deliciously. he must have lost focus and let his gaze travel against your body cause you coughed, drawing his attention back to your face, "quit starin'." he pulled his hands back, ears going red and heart faltering. he should really stop before he gave into the temptations and pinned you to the mattress to— his voice pitched up, "i-i'm going back to my room, bye." "zoro?!" you called after the swordsman as he ran out, "BUT THIS IS YOUR ROOM, WHERE ARE YOU GOING??" [spoiler: he went to chopper and crushed herbs to make medicine. he wanted to get rid of some of that tension but he failed. because he put the pressure too hard and the china dish in which he was crushing the leafy herbs broke, and now chopper was hitting him square in his head, talking about how important it was to be precise in medicine and how zoro will never make a good doctor. "stop hitting me— OW" "what KIND OF A DOCTOR ARE YOU?" "IM A SWORDSMAN!" "YEAH CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A DOCTOR!"]

sanji:

💙breath in, breathe out. breathe in, breathe out. breath in, breath out— "sanji?" you asked, a tinge of worry at his almost fainting figure, "are you okay?!" "my love, darling, sugar pie—" the man caught his tongue between his teeth, trying to stop his head from spinning. the floor seem to sway under him, the lights seemed too bright. was he flying or was it the blood rush?? "what did you just ask me?" you look down at the kitchen floor, mumbling with a bashful smile, "if your hands are cold...i can warm them up." his heart quickened as did his fingers. he chopped the bell pepper so hastily that you were sure you saw sparks flying. "and how would you do that?" "you can keep them between my thighs, if you like?" you looked up, "OH MY GOD SANJI YOUR NOSE—" 💙i hate to cut the story short but sanji 100% fainted and you had to catch him before he fell face-forward into the pot with boiling water on the stove. sorry, he gets no bitches :( but you did look after him on the bedside and let him eventually touch your thighs so... idk, a win is a win!!! ["so, is he like dead?" zoro had asked, uninterested, as you hauled the cook's figure outside the kitchen. you were dragging him to his room as the rest of the crew trailed you. they had heard your shriek and came spilling into the kitchen to see what the fuss was about. "did you give him a hug?" nami asked, amused. "hug's too much." ussop snickered, "she probably smiled at him." sanji whipped his head dangerously to glare at them, "i can hear you. and i will be poisoning your food." he looked back at you, "oh don't you worry, im still fainted." he closed his eyes, letting his forehead fall on your shoulder. you smiled to yourself, making a note to warm him up later]

ace:

🧡truthfully, how do you ask a man made of literal fire if you can "warm him up"??? you must have not thought you plan through because you had stood in his room a bit tipsy, locked the door behind you and asked a boy [who was always shirtless cause he was so warm] that question. "huh?" ace's eyes widened in pleasant surprise. he stood up to walk towards you, "what is that about? you wanna warm me up?" "NO!" you bit your cheek when you realized the implications of your words, "i was joking, obviously." "awh, i do love when you humor me." he quipped, "it's kinda cute." "shut up." you glared at him but he gave you an earnest smile back, "if you're cold, you could have just told me." he set his finger ablaze, acting suave, "see, i can warm you up." "you wanna set me on fire?" you seethed. "no?!" "why did you light your fingers on fire?!" "YOU ASKED A MAN MADE OF FIRE IF YOU CAN WARM HIM UP? DONT ASK ME QUESTIONS?!" "i'm drunk" you mumbled. after a beat you looked down at the floor, "and... i'm kinda cold." portagas d. ace just smiled, shrugging in mock nonchalance, "we can cuddle, if you like. i've been told i'm a pretty great heater." you laughed, "hah, hotshot." ace gave you a wicked grin, "how drunk are you?" "not nearly enough." just saying, portagas d ace was better than just a "pretty great heater." he was a pretty great fu-

a/n: i love writing stupid things so much. it makes me so happy because i'm a stupid little girl giggling and typing on her laptop when she should be doing work. tagging the ever lovelies: @bokutosbiceps (resident luffy enjoyer) and @help-i-lost-my-sock (resident ace enjoyer). if you wanna be added to the tag list, please let me know (//tell me your preferences and i'd tag you in those fics)!

[threepandas]

Bad End: Mama Mine

I woke, that first time, to the most beautiful child I had ever seen. Even through a fever that felt like it was cooking me from within, I could see she was different. It was honestly impossible not too. She looked cherubic. Angelic. Impossible, somehow. As though favored by the gods.

Even in worn, threadbare, patched then re-patched old clothes, so far from new as to have forgotten the name of it, she looked... like a dancer. Beautiful. A tiny painting brought to life. I couldn't understand, delirious as I was. I thought I was hallucinating. Worried her terribly.

She was just a small thing. Trying her best. Too care for her sick mother. She could barely reach the stove. Struggled to carry the buckets of water she needed, to cook and wipe my fevered sweat away. But she let nothing stop her. So determined to save me. Her little face so filled with love and worry, forever a step away from tears.

She was so afraid.

How could I do anything but love her back?

Disoriented or not. Lost and confused I may be. I had a child. Any plan I made? Would be for two. I had never really seen myself a mother, but cast into the role? I refused to abandon the child who loved and needed me. Who was innocent in all this.

Instead, as my fever broke, I held her close. Told her she had been so, so brave. Let her cry. Cuddled my little girl and gave myself a moment to just... breathe.

Then in the morning I got to work.

I appeared to be a single mother. A PEASANT single mother. Delightful. We had little to nothing to our name. I could try and fix that, I think. I knew a few crafts. But I had "forgotten" everything practical. Great. Luckily? I had a VERY observant little helper. Who remembered most of how everything was done.

I could context clues from there.

We made due.

Cleaned up the house, washed the linens, aired everything out. In bits and pieces, using half remembered wiki binges and crafting videos, I improved our little homestead somewhat. It wasn't by MUCH. I didn't have the skills. But it looked... nicer, I think. Homey.

We foraged. Sold hunted animals and things we had found. The occasional baked good. More then that? I tried to make time for my daughter. Keep her away from powerful eyes. The sort that might covet a pretty young thing. Taught her what I could.

Not just how to braid her beautiful hair, but that her beauty did not define her. That love was wonderful but not all there was to life. Too be wary of empty promises and watch for how the powerful treat those that they deem weaker then them. To lead with a smile but be prepared to throw her fist.

Also don't eat those mushrooms, honey, those are the poisonous ones.

I wish... Honestly? I wish I could have given my daughter a better childhood. Better education then the lessons scratched in dirt I was able. If I'd been able to REMEMBER. To recognize. Maybe I would have scrimped and saved more for third or forth hand textbooks, instead of the new hunting knife she so badly wanted.

But I didn't remember.

And as we were visiting town? PROPER town as opposed to our little settlement? I heard about wealthy, comparatively, family's having their children tested for... magic?

I faltered but adapted. Was it that much stranger then being transported into a new body and world? Magic it was then, I guess. Huh. We continued shopping. I bought my daughter a new sturdy pair of boots. Room to grow, would serve her well. She adored them. They had FLOWERS on them, mama! I couldn't help but laugh. Ah, my daughter is so cute!

Then I saw it.

As we passed the temple square. The only building in this whole town that could count as ostentatious. Some silk clad toddler broke from the pressing crowds, no doubt displeased with being crushed in on all sides. He wriggled free. Back from the steps and out into the road. Blind to the mortal peril he had just put himself in as the carriage of some wealthy To-Do raced carelessly down the street. Looking around, innocent, as only a toddler can as he wandered farther and farther from safety.

I dropped my shopping.

The world fuzzy and muffled, far away in my panic. Some Mother's instinct SCREAMING as I raced forward. Throwing a few people aside to reach the road. Then bolting. Distantly I heard my daughter scream, another scream as they finally notice, too late, their child was in mortal peril. But all I could see... was the little boy. Turning. Noticing. The big scary horses.

About to crush him to death.

Time felt slow.

I got there.

Then PAIN.

Far away, people were screaming. A child was crying. Small and terrified in my arms. Some arrogant voice was first demanding, then stuttering, then begging. A frantic voice, joined by others. Rich perfume. The... the child reaching for someone. Safe? Safe. I let go. Tried to smile. Ah... my daughters voice. Crying. Shhhh, shhhh. I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm sorry.

Ah... there... there was so much blood.....

Then there was LIGHT.

Like someone had cupped the sky itself and poured it directly onto me. Blue. So light and weightless and blue. The pain vanished as though erased. New agony and old aches alike. My eyes blinked open in suprise. And there? Tear stained and glowing? Was my daughter.

Like the sky itself had wrapped around her. Sunlight and blue sky and drifting clouds. Swirling like she was the world itself. Her eyes filled with tears when they connected with mine. With a choked cry, she through herself into my arms. Oh, baby. My poor baby. I wrapped my arms around her tight. Hugged her back for all I was worth.

"Your daughter?" A gentle voice asked.

I looked up. What HAD to be a noble woman sat, skirts ruined, in the dirt and blood at my head. Clutching desperately at the toddler I had saved. I could only nod. Understanding passed between us. Mother to mother.

Which is why, when a priest with covetous eyes came forward?

The noble women's smile turned cold.

She had changed her mind. She was, in fact, going to have her son tested by the temple closer to home. AND? She was going to be taking us with her. I agreed. Immediately and before anyone could try to seperate us. Daughter mine, darling, honey, Get In The Carriage. NOW.

We got out of there while the getting was still possible.

It was safe to assume, my new noble friend eventually said, that my daughter had magic. But what did that mean for us? Well, according to Nation Law? (Oh goodie. Laws I know nothing about.) She would have to attend the Royal Magica Academy.

What.

I knew that name. I KNEW that name! My jaw was surely on the floor, my daughter squeeking out flustered and rambling questions at my side. But... but all I could do? Was slowly turn to look at her. She was healthier then the game cover. Not as "that's not what real women look like!" Thin that... that in hindsight? Was probably prolonged food scarcity. Starvation.

She was taller too. Less... oh god, less "child like". That had to have been malnutrition. Stunted growth.

The way her hair shown, soft and healthy. The brightness to her skin and nails. Clarity to her eyes. Fullness to her cheeks. She was hardly even within sight of being a plump child, more muscle then anything, from a life of work and survival, but? She wasn't... waifish. I had made sure of that.

Even if it meant sacrificing my own meals to do so.

But I could SEE it. Could SEE the familiar features. The curling hair and doe like grey eyes. The generic princess character that I had been playing right before... before... God, I couldn't even remember the game's NAME. Just the plot. It had been mid at best. Magnificent art. Everyone raving there was some secret twist after the first play through.

So I grit my teeth a pushed through the generic. Tried to figure out what it was.

Never did get the chance. I died before the second play through and the twist everyone insisted made the game awesome. Now I wish I had caved and looked up spoilers. I tried to remember the mother. Did she die? What happens to my baby girl? Should I push her towards one man or another? Let her follow her heart?

It's a long, long night.

We stay in a guest room. Fancier then anything I've ever seen in this life. I keep my daughter calm. Help her avoid embarrassing herself. Tips for when in doubt. See, honey? It's a learning opportunity! No need to panic! Mama's certainly not, on the inside! She's very calm. Completely, utterly, definitely very ultra calm. Ha ha...

I think my soul had a panic attack.

Things moved very quickly after that. In the end, they had too, if I was to keep my daughter safe. The temple would want to train her. Her magic was apparently quite rare. Religiously significant. And being so lovely? She would make an EXCELLENT propaganda peice. A figurehead and puppet, forevermore in gilded chains.

Everything I feared for her.

No. That was NOT going to happen.

The Academy it was. Nobles and their games aside. The education would be unparalleled. She could probably even make friends. Possibly find love. I told her to Be CAREFUL. That is was a treacherous but beautiful place. Filled with powerful people used to getting their way. Do whatever she must to survive. Thrive. Be happy.

And remember, she is loved.

I...Returning home alone felt like ripping my heart out. I had thought I would have years, yet, before my daughter married and moved out. That I would have time to adjust. Get used to the idea, as my future son-in-law came around. Instead? I returned from a trip to emptiness. A life interrupted.

My daughters sewing, still resting, waiting for her, on the kitchen table.

I collapsed. Weeping. In the entryway.

My tiny home had never felt so vast and hollow.

Days passed. Then weeks. Finally, a letter arrived. Delivered by a very uncomfortable servant. The man checking more then once if I was TRUELY who he was supposed to deliver too. Clearly more then a little uncomfortable in the presence of such poverty. I did not care. I had a letter, thick with writing, from my daughter.

She was doing well.

MORE then well. My lessons had actually put her ahead of the curve in several classes, much to the shock and outrage of her peers. They had expected poverty to equal mental deficiency, it seems. And the library was quickly making up for any classes she was behind in. That's my girl!

She had made several friends that way. Quiet young ladies, willing to help her make sense of the complexities of history or magical theory. From nice, stable, neutral houses, too. No tea parties yet. Or boys. But I didn't care.

My baby had FRIENDS!

I sent a care package of her things back. Not indiscriminately, of course. But tools and notes, a few unfinished projects she had been working on to pass the time. Some snacks from home. They would likely still embarrass her somewhat, but... I did not want her to think I did not CARE. That I had tossed her towards that Academy and promptly forgotten her.

The servant, Geoffrey, and I got to see quite a lot of each other.

He got over the state of my house rather quickly. Instead, started bringing things he "just happened to have lying around" that would you look at THAT? I happened to need! Between letters on my daughter's meeting, then dramas, with pretty wealthy boys? Geoffrey helped me repair my roof. I mended his uniform. We shared new year's festivities together.

I even went to the actual festival, like I was some sort of lovely young thing.

As my daughter grew closer to graduation, the questions started. If I could go anywhere, where would it be? If I could do anything? What if I never had to work again? I wasn't a fool. Told her in no uncertain terms. If I EVER suspected she married for anything less then love and herself, I would disown her.

I did not sacrifice so that my daughter would SUFFER.

However... it seemed there was more then a few things my daughter had left from her letters. The next letter arrived in the hand of a man that wore Geoffrey's face, but even as I walked back towards my cabin from the forest... I knew.

That was not the man I had grown to love.

When the imposter turned, no doubt to lie, I RAN. Dropping my harvest of foraged wild greens. I had been planning to make a dish for him. One he was fond off. Perhaps my daughter's magic came from me, my line instead of her unknown father, or perhaps I had just enough to give it wings. To carry her to term.

Because...

I knew he was dead.

They pursued me. Of course they did. But this was a forest I had wandered for years. I lost them in the trees. Attacked them with rocks and stones. Destroyed my trails with rocks and rivers. Every hunter I crossed paths with an ally. Every hunting trap a peril I could lead them into. They were good.

I was better.

But more came.

Then more. And more. And MORE.

And I was not so good as to fend of a legion. I would not risk the village for some nobles scheme. I was dragged, bloody, bruised before some arrogant little sadist. A nasty little creature, like a porcelain doll filled with bile. What an utter waste of good fabric. I told her as much. Interrupt her sneering little monolog.

The backhand across the face barely hurt.

Toddlers had more muscle.

Unfortunate for this brat. My daughter had arrived in time to see that. And worse for this brat, she brought her friends and suitors. A veritable crowd of power and influence. The brat did not have the common sense to shut up while she was ahead. Even I, a peasant, could recognize royalty on sight. There were at least two of them before us.

MY daughter was not as merciful as the Cannon Protagonist had been.

It was a blood bath.

I tried to stay awake. Head wounds and all that. I... I had wanted to introduce Geoffrey to my daughter. Hinted at it, over my letters. I would... would never get the chance now... oh god. Geoff. Geoff, forgive me. Tears welled up. I could not stop them. Just as I could not stand. Just as I could not move...

I was... was rather useless... wasn't I?

Familiar yet no longer familiar arms threw themselves around me. Cradled me close to a softly perfumed chest, locks of hair I'd know anywhere, shielding me from the world.

"Mama..." my little girl said. Her voice the very picture of heartbreak. "I'm sorry. I... I was too late."

One of her suitors untied me. The knight, probably, from the calluses I felt. But all I could think about was, wrapping my daught in my arms. Together for the first time in years. And it had to be like THIS? Oh gods. Why was fate so cruel?

My little girl had grown so big.

This was a grown woman in my arms.

I just... I just wanted this terrible night to END. And as my daughters power slid over me? It did.

I woke up in a guest room. He dear friend Agatha had INSISTED. Geoffrey had worked for her family. It... it brought relief. To mourn with people who had known him. He had apparently spoken of me. Quite often. The sap.

It... it wasn't fair.

But when was life ever fair?

My daughter visisted. Now that i was finally closer. Her suitors dropped by, to pay their respects I think. Possibly win me over, as mother of their lady love. They were awkward little things. It was adorable. I was patient. Listened. Prodded them when then froze up, uncertain of what to talk about. Got them rambling about their hobbies. Really, it was no great difference then most shy kids.

The visited more. Stayed longer.

Brought gifts.

The gifts were expensive, elaborate, and wildly impractical. I was forced to gently explain why I, a peasant woman, could NOT accept their gift of fist size gemstones. It started with "I will be robbed" and ended with "they WILL be certain I stole these, no matter WHAT documentation you give me. I will die". They were very confused and alarmed. Much like puppies learning that suddenly treats were somehow illegal.

Agatha herself? Was a delight.

A very "mob" looking young lady with a sharp wit and an old man's sense of humor. Her personal maid was Geoffrey's niece. That neither held against me what had happened? Spoke of both of their maturity and grace. They WOULD however, never forgive the house that ordered the attack. I much agreed.

I considered, going back to the village, but...

The memories were too raw there.

I decided to follow my daughter, settle near wherever she decided to go. She seemed thrilled at the idea. Somehow, word spread. On the next visit, the future "head of the mage's tower" and man of entirely too many titles, Valtaan mentions an estate he owns near the Tower. How it lies empty. Would be the PERFECT place for a mother-in-law, you know... if he had one. Lovely gardens!

Oh, really?

Then, the Knight mentions how HE'S going to be stationed up North. In a Great Big Fortress with SO many rooms. Just... just SO MANY. Entirely too many, really. Honestly, he should bring more people! Like a wife! And... and a Mother-in-law! Really fill up the place, you know?

Mmmmhmmm.

The Prime Minister to be? Oh HE talks of TRAVEL. Ever considered traveling? The Embassies are LOVELY. So much to DO around them. Foreign lands, beautiful locals, silks and lovely little treats.

You don't say....

The Duke is blunt about it, at least.

I have a castle. I have SEVERAL castles. Estates. He is aware you are not motivated by that, but it does leave you with options for where you want to live should your daughter decide to marry him. And he DOES intend to marry my daughter. Second husband if not the first. Motivated, aren't we?

I politely infor both prince's, the SECOND they sit down, before they open their mouth, that I like them. I do. A lot in fact. But it's not going to happen. It'll be a cold day in hell the day I let my daughter marry into the royal family and they both know exactly why. They pause... consider it. Then nod.

They agree.

Wouldn't wish this life upon ANYONE who had a chance at something better.

My daughter graduates, with HONORS. There is much gnashing are rending of clothes from the elitist base. Ha! Get fucked. I STILL have no idea what the "twist" is in the plot or if I was being punked. Also not a single clue which, if any, of her suitors she's chosen. Could be all of um. I could care less so long as everyone consents and is aware of each other.

The graduation party is, naturally, grand. I'm in a dress one of the suitors likely bought for me. Somehow, I actually look like I belong. Instead of dancing and reveling, my munchkins hover. As though afraid to leave me alone at my first Big Girl Party. I laugh, trying to shoo them away. Go, go!

My daughter stubbornly shakes her head, leaning against me, her dress complimenting mine. Though I doubt I could be half as lovely.

"Noooo~ I refuse! I will be staying Right HERE, Mama!" Her voice is playful but... there's something strained. Desperate, that's never really gone away I think. Not since the accident. "What if someone tries to take you AWAY? You're too pretty! You gotta stay with US, mama!"

I laugh out loud, completely missing the interested looks that glance my way. Well to do gentleman, widowers and respected servants alike. Long time bachelor's, who's eyes linger a touch too long on the length of my neck, the curve of shoulder. The way it dips down, past my collarbones towards someplace... interesting.

My crowd of young protectors DO NOT miss the looks.

Bristle like angry cats. Eye venomous and society smiles sharp enough too cut glass. There is a murder to their expression. A command to Look Away.

While you still have EYES.

"No, Mama." My daughter insists when I try to tell her she's wrong. That I am far from desirable. "I'm not letting go. Not EVER. We're FAMILY. And that means? That means you're MINE."

[rfaromance]

kissing Saeyoung's hands!!!

"It doesn't even hurt!"

"Please don't fuss over this!"

"I'm telling you, honey butter, I'm fine!"

Saeyoung's protests fell on deaf ears as you dragged him to the bathroom, where the lighting was better. You didn't care what he had to say; the cut on his hand looked nasty, and you weren't going to risk letting anything happen to your lover.

"Look, it's not even bleeding anymore!"

You snorted as you pushed him against the countertop. "Sit," you ordered, and with a grumble Saeyoung obediently plopped himself on the counter. "It is still bleeding!" you wailed in dismay, as you held his hand up to the light.

"So you can hear me."

"Saeyoung Choi!"

Hastily you dug out first aid supplies from the cabinet. As you searched for bandages and ointments, you could spot a dark hoodie shuffling out of the corner of your eye. "Don't even think about leaving," you snapped. "You are getting patched up here and now!"

The shuffling stopped.

Heaving a huge sigh, you returned to Saeyoung with supplies in tow. Carefully you reached past him to turn on the faucet, soaking and soaping a washcloth. You then turned back to Saeyoung and gently grabbed his injured hand. He didn't resist you this time, but rather tutted dramatically as you began to dab at the wound.

"Saeyoung... how in the world did you manage this?"

"One of my babies is in her rebellious teen phase."

"You mean there could be OIL in here, and you weren't going to let me clean it?" The horror and exasperation in your voice were powerful enough to make him wince.

"It's really not a big deal," he began, but you firmly squeezed his hand to shut him up.

After you'd wiped off the dry blood, you were able to see his injury clearly for the first time. A gash on the side of his hand, running from the bottom of his pinky finger to the top of his wrist. "This is the length of your palm," you fretted.

"Couldn't even tell."

His tone was different, somehow. He'd stopped arguing but also was acting less blasé. Now he just sounded... tired. Resigned. Hollow.

"It really doesn't hurt?" you asked softly. Carefully you put the washcloth in the sink, and you reached out to get the antibiotic ointment. "It didn't even sting when I washed it?"

"Not even a tickle."

You didn't want to believe him, but as you spread the ointment over his injury, he didn't flinch once. You gave his palm an experimental squeeze, wondering if he'd react. "Shoot!"

The pressure had opened the cut once again.

"I felt that," Saeyoung commented as you grabbed the washcloth again to dab at the edges of the wound. "It just... felt no different than picking up a shoe or opening a doorknob."

You reapplied the antibiotic that you had wiped off, furrowing your brow as thoughts raced around in circles in your head. Had his fingers always been this calloused? Had his knuckles always been covered with this many old, faded scars? Had his fingers, thin as they are, always been this muscular? Your own hands suddenly felt so feeble, so flimsy, as you began winding gauze around his hand, over and over.

"I can't afford to feel too much pain," was all he offered in explanation. "Not the way I've lived.

"Hands like mine don't deserve tender care from someone like you."

Having just put on the last stretch of bandages, you looked up at him with sorrow in your eyes. Much to your dismay, he was looking up at the ceiling, perhaps unable to meet your gaze.

You didn't know the full extent of the things that he had done to keep himself and Saeran alive; you didn't particularly care. All that mattered was that you knew he undertook those actions and made those choices in the name of love. He was a good person.

He had stopped trying to push you away, so why did he have to talk as if he was still damning himself? Did he plan to live the remainder of his life joyfully, but then spend his afterlife in flames? You didn't quite know or understand his feelings on that matter.

But you did know you loved him, and that he deserved every reminder you could give him.

"Your hands can't feel anything anymore?" you murmured, the lilt in your voice clearly prompting him for an answer.

"If only."

The detached, distant expression on Saeyoung's face immediately melted away, replaced by one of awe, caution, fear, and wonder, as your lips began to peck at each and every one of his knuckles. Then his fingertips. Then his (bandaged) palm. You even nudged the injured side of his hand with your nose, gently so as not to aggravate the wound. "Nothing at all?"

His tearful golden eyes met yours directly as he whispered, "Maybe there's something after all."

[glassrowboat]

Worthy of Vespers. Argenti.

Summary: Just a drabble about an hc I have for Argenti where he's really insecure about the eczema on his hands

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is such a common phrase, to the point you've come to roll your eyes at it every time it so much as graces your ears. For you have heard it too often. When you're poking at acne you know not to squeeze out of your skin but your mind keeps telling you to go on and do it because at least then you could convince yourself you look pretty, when you're struggling to try on a dress, when-

There's too many examples to count.

For it's too common a phrase.

One shoved at you like hearing it will do your whirling mind any good besides adding guilt on top of your self hatred and pus covered fingers as you finally give in and squeeze the white head that had been haunting you all day with a dull ache on your forehead; blood replacing the disgusting dot.

If only you could understand what Argenti of all people saw in you.

Then again, that's the same man who looks down at his hands and hides the red, irritated blotches away with a pair of leather gloves. Covering the digits you have kissed again and again with lips reserved only for his ethereal grace as Argenti’s lips tighten, forcing themselves up into a smile. All for your sake.

So maybe your eye was tainted, unable to see something in the person staring back at you, but was he not the same? Picking at patches of skin in distaste.

“You can adulate a potted plant, but your own visage is too much of a task for you?” You whispered as he tried to pull away. To yank his hands from you as your touch fell on the flakes of dead skin, he had been trying to scrub, scrub, and scrub off.

“Ah yes, the blooming colors that glowed a sprightly green akin to the nymphs in tales of folklore. Only a painter could possibly bring such a thing to life, but it still laid before our eyes gracing us with its presence.”

“That's great, honey.”

“And you-” Argenti cut himself off as your fingers ran over the roses on his skin, blooming for all the world to see.

“Yes, and you. Can you say something like that about yourself?” You asked.

You knew he couldn't. You've asked before and Argenti had only confessed he missed his pure white hair, how it would curl under his fingers as he braided it back and out of the way before training the day away, but that was gone now, washed away like blood after a rainstorm.

And you also knew he couldn't even try. Not when his eyes were flicking back to the eczema spots that had his throat bobbing every time you brought attention to them.

“Oh my stupid Knight of Beauty, you may not see it, but to me, you are worthy of vespers and evensong.” With a wink you added: “And to be worshiped by someone on their knees before you.”

“Hardly.” Argenti whispered back.

“Verily.” You corrected him with another kiss.

“You are stubborn as ever.” Argenti pulled away from you, going to pick up the washcloth he had been using to try and scour his skin like it was a counter in need of a cleaning. It hung from his hold, dripping water as he squeezed it over the basin it had been soaking in. “Just…a little longer.”

A splash of water rang before you answered him. “Is that really what you want?”

“It is. Please, I'll be with you in a moment, my love. I promise.”

With a sigh, you nodded, stood up front the floor, and gave Argenti one last look as you caught sight of him hunched over in the mirror. All as he scrubbed and scrubbed, for as they say: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Love Quinn + an overgrown garden from the prompt list please

ofc!! thanks for the request for love btw <3

original prompt list can be found here for those who are curious

Grown With Love (Love Quinn x gn reader)

Warnings: very brief mention of murder but fluff other than that <3

The romance between you and Love, your newly-wed wife, seemed to happen in a whirlwind. It wasn't even six months after you'd met that you'd proposed to her, and naturally she'd agreed to it right away. You bought a house together not long after, one on the cheaper side that you could do some renovations on. She had very specific ideas for how she wanted the layout to be, which you of course gave her complete control over.

Where you lived didn't matter much as long as you got to be there with her, and besides, happy wife, happy life. You'd do anything to make her happy, that much was certain.

Plus, it wasn't as if you had to pay for it. She had her parents money to do that, so she could redesign the house however she envisioned it the be. If she wanted to gut the entirety of the kitchen and rework it to be on the other side of the first floor, who were you to stop her? The world was her oyster when it came to your new place, and that carried into the land it sat on, which included the backyard.

She told you she was planning on having a garden where she could grow all of her own fruits and vegetables, not wanting to rely on overly-priced produce from factories that pumped them full of chemicals from the grocery stores in the neighborhood. There were always local markets, but she wanted to try growing food herself for a change. You were never one for gardening, but if that's what she wanted then you were certainly more than happy to help.

(While it was true that she did want a garden, she also needed a fresh patch of land that wouldn't look suspicious for her to be digging up in case a body had to be buried somewhere. Not that she'd ever tell you about her little hobby, as it was her opinion that you didn't need to know.)

"Honey, can you come bring the wheelbarrow over here to me?" Love asked while pointing with a glove-clad hand in the direction of where the wheelbarrow sat on the other side of the yard. She was on her hands and knees trying to get rid of all the weeds and other plants that she was certain would try to choke out the life of her vegetable garden before it even got started.

"Sure thing, sweetheart." You didn't have much of a set job when it came to redoing the house and backyard. It seemed as though you were there for moral support more than anything else, but that didn't mean you weren't happy and eager to help out your wife whenever you could.

She beamed with pride when she saw you bring it over to her, immediately beginning to dump the weeds that were already dug up into it so they could be disposed of later. "Thanks, honey."

You beamed in response before speaking again. "I'm gonna go grab the lemonade you made earlier and bring it outside for you."

The smile on her face seemed to grow wider at that. You always knew exactly what she needed, and when. "You do that, sweetheart. I'll be out here."

While she continued messing with the garden, you went inside the house, making sure to watch out for the several building supplies the workers had left behind as you grabbed the pitcher of lemonade from the kitchen along with two glasses. You quickly returned outside and filled them up before carrying one of the glasses over to your wife. "Here you go, honey."

She removed her gloves and took the full glass from you as she thought about you looked adorable doing things for her. You were always so eager to please. "Thank you, baby. Why don't you come sit with me? I was just about to take a break anyway."

You immediately nodded your head at the suggestion, rushing to grab your own glass before returning back over to sit down beside her. The garden still needed a lot of work done on it, but it wasn't looking too bad so far.

"What do you want to plant?" Love asked you after a moment or so, watching as you gulped away at her fresh, homemade lemonade while she spoke. "I was thinking some tomatoes, maybe some corn and watermelons if we have the space for it."

"Whatever you want to plant is fine by me. I'll be happy regardless," you replied brightly before leaning over and pressing a kiss to her face. "They'll be grown with love no matter what they are."

"Oh, my God, you and your stupid puns," she said with feigned exasperation, rolling her eyes playfully at your words. "You're right, though. They'll be grown with love, indeed. The love between the two of us," she added in a playful manner.

You giggled at her addition before nudging her side with your elbow. "You're such a sap."

"Mm, only for you." She moved in closer and gave you a passionate and loving kiss, the lemonade soon left forgotten as you got swept up in the feelings you shared for each other, your wedding bands glistening in the sunlight. Everything would be done with love as long as you and her were together.

End notes: Love's so sweet when she's not murdering people

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[mschoiyuki]

Fragile

Nanami Kento x F!reader

Sometimes Nanami also had a bad day and you will always be there to comfort him.

tw : comfort. SFW

wc : 1.8k

It’s pitch black when you arrive at home. It’s already 7pm and your husband hasn’t come home yet. That’s so unusual, Nanami always comes home before 6pm.

You switch all the lights up, puts away your belongings and get ready to make dinner. Your phone rings when you wash your hand. Nanami’s name pops up on the screen.

“Hey honey, not done with the mission yet?” You put on speaker so you can prepare the dinner.

“Hey, sweetheart. I think I’ll be a little late tonight. But I’ll be on my way home soon.” Nanami voice sounded a little bit ragged.

“What happened, Kento? Where are you now? Are you okay?” You pick up your phone and put it on your ear, biting your nails, pacing back and forth.

“I’m okay, just a little injured. I’m at Jujutsu High right now getting treatment from Ieiri - san. It’s nothing serious, darling. Stop biting your nails.” Nanami try to calm you down.

You pause and stop biting your nails, been together for too long makes Nanami knows your every little habits. “Do you want me to pick you up, honey?”

“Ijichi will send me home, don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” You can hear Nanami hiss from the treatment he gets from Ieiri.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you. Be safe, Kento.”

“I will, darling. Love you.”

“Love you too.” As you hung up the phone, you try to distract your mind from the news you just heard with trying to make dinner. It’s really so unusual for Nanami to get injured from work, because he is Grade 1 after all. Does it involve with the recent accident? You can’t stop biting your lips now as you try to making dinner.

Minutes turn to hours, when you hear the front door being open you run to greet Nanami. As soon as Nanami sees your face he still gives you smile. Then you see Nanami clutching his stomach, “How bad is the injury, Kento? Show it to me.”

“No welcome home kiss for me, sweetheart?” Nanami caress your cheek, still trying his best to hide his injury from you, he doesn’t want to make you worry.

You sigh and scowl at him, but still tip toeing to kiss his lips for his welcome home kiss, “Come on, let’s sit first and let me see the injury, Kento. I want to know how bad it is.” Nanami takes off his shoes and slips into the home slippers, he takes your hand and follows you to the kitchen.

You slowly sits Nanami on the bar stool, and starts unbuttoning his blue shirt carefully, you furrow your eyebrows when you see the big patch at Nanami’s right stomach. You reach his cheek and caressing it, “What happened, Kento? How did you get this wound? Is this has anything to do with the recent accident?”

Nanami slither his arms to your waist, bringing you closer to him, “Yes, it’s the same curse that does this. Itadori - kun and I finds the culprit, I told Itadori - kun I would handle it, but in the end he also saved me from the curse. The curse can perform Domain Expansion, and I trapped in it. Although I ashamed that I had a thought to give up. I’m sorry, darling.” Nanami looks up at you, his eyes glassy with the tears that forming.

“Why are you sorry, Kento? It’s okay. Don’t be sorry, we all know the risks as sorcerers.” You still caress his cheekbones, looking into his hazel eyes.

“I know that thoughts is hard for you, what if I really gave up and leave you alone?” Nanami tighten his grips on your waist.

“One of us could die from missions, we talked about this before. And yes, the grief is hard to handle. But it’s the risks we take as sorcerers, right? To save human from curses, even though they don’t know about it.”

“Yes, you’re right, darling. But the worst part is…” Nanami pause, and looks away from you.

You pull his face towards you, “What is it, honey?” You look into his eyes, searching something behind it.

Nanami let out a defeat sighs, “The worst part is, the transfigured human, that the culprit transformed human into curse, they still have a lingering feeling as human. They cried and asked help from me, darling. Ieiri - san said that we had to kill them, that’s the only way to help them. But it feels so wrong. I don’t know what the purpose of being a sorcerer if we have to kill human.”

You stare at Nanami with wide eyes, can’t believe with the information that he just shared to you. But one thing you know, Nanami is feeling torn and weak right now and he needs all the support from you. Because whenever you are feeling down from works or from other silly things, he will be there for you. He will give his all for you, his times, his attention, his love, just for the love of his live in a heartbeat. And you will also give everything for him too in a heartbeat, no doubt.

“Kento, I know you will choose a safe way to save them if there’s a way. But this is beyond our control and yes the only way to stop this is to defeat the culprit. Don’t be so hard on yourself, honey. I know you really try your best for them, and I know they must be thankful for you because you helped them, freed them from their misery. So don’t look on the negative side, because there’s also a good side from it. Isn’t it like we also help them as human, honey? Hm?” You wipe Nanami’s tears at the corner of his eyes before it can roll down.

Nanami place his hand on yours that caress his cheek, he leans in on your touch, “Yes, that’s may be right. I just can’t help this uneasy feeling.”

You sighs and smile, you peppered his face with kisses. His forehead, his temple, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and lastly his lips.

Nanami tighten his hold on your waist and chuckle, “What’s that’s for, darling?”

“To distract your minds.” You give him a quick kiss on his lips again, “Despite everything that happened you’re doing good, Kento.”

Nanami sighs and hug you tightly. You kiss the crown of his head and lean your cheek on it. One hand rubbing his back and the other caressing his scalp.

“Go take a bath, Kento. Should I help you?” You pull away and check his wound again.

“It’s okay, darling. I can manage it.” Nanami slowly stand up and groan from the pain, you hold his hand to support him. Nanami kiss your temple and head to bathroom. And you start plating the dinner for both of you.

While you wait for Nanami done with his shower you prepare his pajamas and brings a new patch, walking to the bathroom sitting at the vanity holding the hair dryer

When Nanami walks out from the shower holding the towel around his hips and another towel at his head and sees you waiting for him, he chuckles and ruffling his hair.

“Come, Kento. Let me dry your hair so you won’t catch a cold.” You pat the gap between your thighs, ushering him to come close.

“I’m so lucky to have you, sweetheart. I don’t know what I’ve become if I’m alone now.” Nanami stand between your thighs and place his hands on it, rubbing your thighs slowly.

“I’m always here for you, Kento. Through ups and downs. Isn’t that our vow?” You smile and ruffle his hair with towel and starts drying it with hair dryer, sometimes gives his scalp a massage.

“All done. Handsome as ever.” You giggle and give him a quick peck in his lips.

Nanami leans his forehead to yours and reach your cheek, “Yes, darling. Through thick and thin. In sickness and health. Thank you for coming into my life.” Nanami graze his lips with yours and he gives you a slow, deep kiss. As he pulls aways he gives your forehead another kiss.

Is it because Nanami coming home with a wound or the atmosphere is making you mellow, his words makes your heart tingle, “Now let’s change the patch. I know Shoko - san gives you the best treatment for you so I don’t have to worry, but we still need to change the patch, right?”

You jump down and tells Nanami to leans on the sink and you slowly peel the patch and grimace when you see his wound. You apply another ointment before wrapping it with a new patch, “I already bring your pajamas. I’ll wait for you at dining room.” You kiss his cheek and walk out from the bathroom.

Dinner went well and both of you decide to rest since today is a little bit chaotic for you and Nanami. The worrying tired you out, and the fight and wound also drained Nanami's energy.

Nanami groan when he lay down, he stretch his arm to you so you can lay with him. You carefully lay on his chest and put your hand on it.

Nanami let out a long relieve sighs and tighten his grip on your arm, "I really glad that Itadori - kun saved me. Even though I know the risk as sorcerers, I still want to spend my life with you." You looks up at Nanami and find him gazing at you with his usual loving eyes.

"Don't say something negatives, Kento. I don't want to imagine it. I just glad that you are coming home safely." You propped yourself up on your elbow.

“Should we just retire and go to Kuantan, darling? Enjoying the beach there. Sounds good?” Nanami caressing your back, giving you an apologetic look for saying something to makes you worry like that.

“You think Gojo will let you retire so early?” You chuckle as you brush his hair with your hand.

“Well he is the strongest, I think he can manage it. Thank you for today. You are the best thing that I ever had, my love.”

“I’ll always have your back, Kento. Like how you always there for me.”

“I love you, sweetheart.” Nanami pulls you down so he can give you a kiss, a slow deep kiss that he always give you to remind you how much he loves you.

"I love you too, Kento. More than anything." You slightly pull away and mutter the words, you lean in again to kiss him and you can feel Nanami smiling against your lips.

From the outside Nanami might looks so strong and reliable, but deep inside you know Nanami has a very soft and fragile heart. That's why you will be always there for him whenever he feels down, just like how he will always be there for you when you are at your worst.

Even though it's just a small gesture, Nanami really thankful for you being there for him. Because he can feel your love through your small actions.

dividers by : @saradika-graphics

[nika-vincent]

Long post warning.

I'm trying to put together some thoughts (also based on recent discussions with many great folks) about the romance path with Halsin in the form that it is presented in the game at the moment with the hope that Larian will notice our comments on this. And part 2 about Halsin's personality in the game. Please, fear not, it will be without aggression. So take some tea, my friends, and let's get started!☕

From the very beginning of EA, we had an image of Halsin that stood out not only by his appearance (it was difficult to not notice the thirsty comments of fans about this), but also by the excellent qualities of his character. He is one of those characters who sincerely wants to help us with our parasite and not try to use us in a bad way or even kill us.

He has the impression, you know, of a big adult man who at first glance looks serious and rather harsh, but when you learn more about him, you realize that this is a man with a kind heart, caring, protecting, not leaving you in trouble. He reminds me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter universe. And this image of him was so loved by many people (including me) that we wanted to see more of it when the game was released. There was no limit to my delight when, after the release of the game, we were able to ask about his hobbies. Gods, how all these cute things fit him that he loves honey and carves wood in his spare time.🥰 I want more of this!❤

We began to fantasize about what a romance with Halsin could be, and expected that these beautiful traits of his character would manifest themselves here. That he will be protective for Tav, gentle, romantic and caring. I was incredibly happy that we were finally given the opportunity to have a romance with him and the words during the PFH that Halsin and Astarion had become the most popular characters of EA gave great expectations.

Of course, after the release of the game, many things have remained behind the scenes for now, due to lack of time to implement the rest of things I believe, and I assume that there is a chance of adding this with patches. But let's move on to the things we have at the moment.

What surprised me not in a good way was that I noticed some strange emphasis on Halsin's sexuality and various jokes towards his body in the game itself. I assume that perhaps the developers wanted to make some kind of reference to the thirsty comments of fans about Halsin, which can often be seen on the Internet. But I think it would be better to leave it between fans, and not literally implement it in the game. I do not deny his sexuality myself and say that his arms are made for hugs! But there should be a limit to everything, I think. I can make an exception about the fact that we can ask about why he is so big for an elf. It looks quite harmless and even his reaction amuses.😁

The reference to 'Daddy Halsin' in his ending was great and really funny! It looks unobtrusive and does not create the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that we got from some of his stories from the past...

The story of Halsin's sexual past and how the romance with him is presented in the game has been most criticized by players, and there are several reasons for this. We found out that he had many lovers throughout his life (So it is lovers, not special loved ones). And then we also learn that when he was a young druid, he traveled through the underdark and found himself a guest in a noble Drow house, in which the matron and the patron showed interest in him and chained him for three years in their bedchamber, where he played the role of 'guest, prisoner and consort'. Honestly, the last thing I expected was that Halsin would get such a backstory, given that we had kept in mind for so long the image of him which I described at the beginning of this article. It literally took me by surprise. And especially the fact that he talks about it so calmly and even with a note of gaiety, as if this is a common thing that could happen to anyone.

I don't understand the need to add such things to him. Perhaps the developers wanted to show in this way that a man with such an attractive appearance is obliged to have a hot sexual experience and give him an image of something like a Faerun Casanova? If so, it turned out to be quite inappropriate and even creepy, and the players perceived it more as a sexual abuse towards him than as an experience.

It can be noticed that even Halsin himself is not very enthusiastic with the fact that remarks about his physique are the first thing people talk about. Clipping from @lylakoi 's screenshot:

And all this strongly contradicts how we initially fell in love with Halsin and how we wanted to see him and his romance in the release. The romantic relationship between Tav and Halsin at the moment looks more built on physical attraction, rather than on love, care and mutual respect. Most likely, this is due to the noticeable lack of romance content at the moment and more soft things and scenes will be added to the patches that would dilute it well so that it does not catch the eye. I just wanted the romance to be less fixated on lust, and more on feelings and romantic things between Tav and Halsin.

The most terrible thing that literally brought tears to my eyes is the fact that he can talk about his feelings and love only when we ourselves can behave like an abuser with him, when we decide to break up with him and change our minds. We see how much it hurts him that we are playing with his heart. Because at the moment there are no other romantic scenes in the game in which we can discuss with him our feelings and that we love each other, as it happens with other companions.

Polyamory also does not work quite correctly in the game, because it seems that he wants Tav to be poly in the relationship, not him. It looks something like: 'You're all I want, but don't get stuck on me and find someone else' uhh, what? I only want to romance you, why should I find someone else? This dialogue is appropriate if I was already in a relationship with another companion and would like to be with Halsin too. But if I want to have a romance with him alone, then I believe that the dialogue should be different and not insist on 'sharing' if I have not a relationship with anyone.

Given the whole story that he only had lovers and sexual slavery, I assume that Halsin has never experienced true love with anyone, and only knows how to be used by everyone. If this was the original idea of the writers, which has not yet been brought to its logical end, then the role of Tav in the romance with Halsin here should be quite important in order to see the development of their relationship. The main goal in the romance should be that Tav will allow Halsin to feel what it's like to be truly important and loved. Remember when in the act 2 he was touched by the fact that Tav shared a campfire and their company with him. Screenshot by @lylakoi :

It is clearly evident that such things that someone does for him are unusual to him and touch his very heart. Most likely, he is used to giving, not receiving.

The bed scene with him is absolutely beautiful, I can even give a standing ovation.❤ I would only add after that a scene where Tav and Halsin are lying side by side, looking at the stars and having a romantic conversation. That would end the night perfectly.🙏

It is necessary to add more soft interactions for Halsin, so that there is more emphasis on the development of his personal qualities. We are well aware of his attractiveness and there is no need to emphasize this once again with strange jokes and stories with sexual abuse.

The Interaction in the camp with owlbear and Scratch will be great for him! Maybe even add some scenes with companions in act 2, where Halsin would try to calm the guys arguing with each other. That would add +1 to his personality traits. Also, more of his reactions to any events or during the dialogues with someone will not hurt.

For a romance, I would suggest definitely adding a scene with a date. Even a scene where Halsin would give an ornament for Tav that he carved out of wood. Maybe some episode in the city that would shock him (For example, he witnessed the rough treatment of animals or orphans) and make him turn into a bear from rage and we would try to calm him down by choosing the option 'reach out and stroke him' (Yes, yes, I mentally create fanfics during 3 am, don't blame me😅) Also a scene where we could hug him and confess that we love him. And now the romance no longer looks focused on lust.

The opportunity to go with Halsin in the ending also deserves to exist. Halsin mentioned that he would like to have a family, so he and Tav could perfectly help orphans together in Thaniel's world.🙏

That's all for today. My opinion about Larian has not changed for the worse, for me they are still great guys who delight me with their positive attitude to the community. Unpleasant situations can happen, it is inevitable. But there is always a chance to fix something. I really want to hope that they will cope with everything and listen to our feedbacks and everything will gradually get better with the patches.❤

Thank you for reading this review to the end.🙏❤ I also suggest joining the discussion to Larian's discord in the 'bg3-feedback' section.

[idkjustlemmedrownlikerab]

Evermore (Marauder's Version)

@marsmarauders and I welcome you back to our Taylor Swift x Marauders series. We got carried away again but what's new about that huh? Anyways here you have every single song from Evermore related to the Marauders characters :D (I totally didn't forget about this series at all due to midterms, what r y'all talking about? Nope not me)

willow

"Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark, Show me the places where the others gave you scars"

Both of us wholeheartedly agree that this is for sure a wolfstar song. This particular lyric could go either way with scars Sirius has from his mother or the scars Remus has because of Greyback and his furry little problem and "Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in, as if you were a mythical thing" bcoz obviously they shared a dorm for 7 yrs and mythical thing aka a werewolf!

champagne problems

"How evergreen, our group of friends, Don't think we'll say that word again"

WOLFSTAR. I feel like this isn't even an argument every single person in the fandom who listens to Taylor can agree on this, this song screams wolfstar from Sirius' pov. "She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head," being said about Sirius ofc

And Tonks being the new real thing who will patch up the tapestry that Sirius shred

gold rush

"I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush, I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch"

Now this is about unrequited love and I was certain from the beginning is about jegulus specifically from Regulus' pov talking about James pining after Lily for years when he was right there

'tis the damn season

"We could call it even, You could call me babe for the weekend, 'Tis the damn season,"

Seeing as the song talks about a fleeting relationship we couldn't help but think of this as Remus and Grant

tolerate it

"While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?"

BLACK BROTHERS. Like no discussion required at all this song screams Black Brothers from Regulus' pov like try and tell me that isn't Regulus talking about Sirius building a separate life for himself with the Gryffindors leaving Reg behind when he always used to be his protector, and now he's all alone. "I made you my temple, my mural, my sky, Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life" this is soo Regulus Black coded

no body, no crime

"I think he did it but I just can't prove it, No, no body, no crime, But I ain't letting up until the day I die"

Upon a lot of discussion and deliberation we have come to the conclusion that this song is Regulus Black about Peter coz he saw him at a meeting and knows he's the spy but by this time his relationship with his brother is basically non existent and he knows Sirius won't believe him so he needs proof

But at the ending the pov changes to Peter, convincing everyone that Sirius was the spy and the murderer

happiness

"Haunted by the look in my eyes, that would've loved you for a lifetime, Leave it all behind and there is happiness"

Now this song we think could go two ways either with jegulus or with nobleflower coz the lyrics "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool, Who takes my spot next to you" and the whole song overall has this tone of the singer wanting their ex lover to lead a happy life without them while also having a very spiteful undertone due to not being a part of it and that screams Black family to us

dorothea

"Hey Dorothea, Do you ever stop and think about me? When we were younger, down in the park honey, making a lark of the misery

Now we have two interpretations for this Marls was thinking more of Remus and Mary from Remus' pov since they are the only two members left of their friend group and Mary was the one who fled, I on the other hand could also see another version which could be Snape talking about Lily, "You got shiny friends since you left town, A tiny screen's the only place I see you now"

coney island

"I'm on a bench in Coney Island, Wondering, where did my baby go?"

For this song while Marls wasn't that sure but I could see Nobelflower all over since the song talks about this badly ended relationship bcoz one of them (Narcissa) had started distancing themselves and acting strange, so the other (Alice) starts questioning their own existence and wondering if they are all alone now that their partner no longer feels known. This being coz Cissa is bound to her house and her duties, one of them being getting married to a pure blood and Alice starts to resent her for it even tho she knows she doesn't have much of a choice

ivy

"My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, Taking mine, but it's been promised to another"

Now ignoring the affair since we don't think any of them would do that, if we just look at the dying relationship and the beginning of a new one aspect of the song I can definitely see the end of bartylus and then Barty falling in love with Evan and thankfully Marls agrees with me on this

cowboy like me

"And the skeletons in both our closets, Plotted hard to fuck this up"

Both of us agree that is song is rosekiller all the way through bcoz it talks about two con artists who thought they never needed love but then they fall for each other?? Tell me that isn't sooo rosekiller coded

long story short

"And I fell from the pedestal, Right down the rabbit hole, Long story short, it was a bad time"

This is very obviously about Lily falling in love with James after Severus to the both of us, about how in hindsight that friendship wasn't really what she thought it was and now she is genuinely happy and it's all about James now

Tho Marls also suggested it about James and Lily getting together after he broke up with Regulus as well and while I do like it, I personally refuse to associate "Long story short, it was the wrong guy" with jegulus coz that just makes me sad :(

marjorie

"Should've kept every grocery store receipt, 'Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me"

This track again is Black Brothers coded but this time from Sirius' pov missing his brother after his death and regretting not mending their relationship bcoz there was still a part of him which hated his little brother for not running away with him

"What died didn't stay dead, You're alive, you're alive in my head"

closure

"It's been a long time, And seeing the shape of your name, Still spells out pain"

Evans sister. Yep that's it, it's Lily singing to Petunia about their broken relationship

evermore

"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, Trying to find the one where I went wrong"

In the words of our lovely Marls herself "REGULUS RIGHT BEFORE HE DIES LIKE RIGHT AS HE'S GOING DOWN TO THE CAVE, I TAKE NO CRITICISM"

And no criticism she had to take bcoz those were exactly my thoughts no discussion needed at all

right where you left me

"Help, I'm still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt"

Now Marls sees this as Remus post war bcoz everyone other than him died (or fled in Mary's case) and left him alone and he couldn't move on from the fact for the longest time

And while I do love this interpretation I can also see jegulus after the break up from Regulus' pov, seeing James falling in love with Lily again and having a family "I'm sure that you got a wife out there, Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware" "If our love died young, I can't bear witness" while he's still stuck there reminiscing their time together bcoz that's genuinely the happiest he's ever been

it's time to go

"Sometimes, givin' up is the strong thing, Sometimes, to run is the brave thing, Sometimes, walkin' out is the one thing"

Sirius Black. That's it. We hear no criticism at all, try and fight us about it and we will strangle you in ur sleep :D I'm not kidding we hope yk that for ur own safety

AND THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY!! Thank you for sticking with us even tho I was very late for this post, the next post probably won't take this long coz Marls is the one who's gonna post that, not me, but I hope u liked our opinions and if not, we'd love to hear urs

Make sure to come back to see Folklore, coming soon! (To a theater near you)

[angelofchaos001]

Some AU Writings

(This is a silly mix of the Splitmind AU and @thunder-wolf64 's Sizzling Waters AU, I was struck with a burst of inspiration and didn't want it going to waste)

What if I gave Sizzle a mother without the brain damage...hmmmm...

Splitmind Arti to the "rescue" >=3

(Writing under cut)

* * * * * * * * * *

Sizzle had been nothing but distraught since he lost Kelp.

How could things ever be the same? Or be better? That was his best friend.

Scratch that, it was his only friend.

Gone in an instant.

He wanted to curl up and cry himself to sleep every cycle since then. But he couldn't. He had to keep himself alive, but also because of-

"Pup? We need to be on our way now. I've let you sleep in as long as I can."

He whimpered and rolled over in the shelter, looking up at his mother. He wanted to be able to call her that and love her. To want to be close to her and love the affection she tried to show.

But something inside of him stopped him every time. Some little voice in the back of his head that didn't trust her, didn't like her, knew she was family but couldn't treat her like it.

"Just . . . go hunt for little," he said, so quietly that it was nothing but a hushed whisper. "I need more time."

"I don't want to leave you alone in here," she said. Her voice had a forced sweetness in it, trying to cover that rough, scratchy tone with milk and honey. Sizzle didn't even think she was faking it, she just didn't seem good with those softer emotions.

She was a blaze of fire at every turn, shouting and hissing whenever the slightest excuse for her to do so popped up. She was ferocious, brutal, and didn't - couldn't - stop herself from tearing anything that threatened her apart.

He hated it.

But he wanted to love her.

If he could, he would separate his mother from the violent monster inside of her and bring back what his memories showed of her. The kind protector who scanned the sky for vultures - not as a meal, but instead as a concerned parent.

The one who would pat him and his sister and congratulate them for the batflies they'd struggle to grab.

The soft red fur that he would bury his face in every night, cuddling as close as he could. Now, she felt colder than ever, but still burning with hatred.

"I need more time," he said, a little louder this time.

With a heavy sigh, his mom reached over and stroked her paw along his back. It felt out of place. Like a lizard -

Nope. Not a good metaphor.

Like . . . a garbage worm patting a scavenger. It was wrong. But he still wanted it. It wasn't the touch he would have liked to feel, but it was the only touch he would get.

This was all he had.

"I won't be far. Join me when you're feeling less blue, alright pup?" She tilted her head, and Sizzle felt new thorns stab at his heart. Why did she have to use that saying? Why...?

He gave a halfhearted nod. He thought he heard a contented smile from her. "Good. I'll make sure to get something special for you today. It'll help clear your mind."

As she leapt gracefully out of the shelter, Sizzle found himself yearning for some kind of companionship again, but couldn't find it in him to leave yet. What can I even do now? Where am I going?

I don't want to survive. I want to live. With Burning, and Kelp, and my sister, and -

Tears stung his eyes as he let out a wail. Everyone he had loved, everyone he knew, who he had cared about, was just gone.

He wanted the cycle to bring them back, place them right at his feet and say 'Sorry, here's everyone you love back'. But things didn't work like that.

Sizzle took a tuft of fur near the end of his tail and started twisting it gently. Was his tail getting messier each day? Had he really been neglecting his appearance that much?

Carefully, he began to pick through the matted patches and clean up the loose strands. Dirt and debris came loose as he worked, some things so deeply tangled he wondered how it even happened to begin with.

His dark green fur started to scatter across the shelter floor, bits that he couldn't work through yanked away with nothing more than a yelp and a pull.

The yelp of a blue lizard, scared and confused.

The pull of the harpoon, dragging it away into the sky.

Sizzle cried out and immediately stopped what he was doing. "Aaargh! Why? Why did it have to be then?!"

He was only gone for a moment. He'd found a new path.

He had been so excited to share that information with his mom.

And instead he got to watch as his only friend was murdered without a chance to fight back.

He was almost grown-up, but in so many ways, Sizzle still felt like nothing more than the small, helpless pup he was on that day, so long ago.

"Sister . . . " he whimpered, closing his eyes and thinking hard of what she'd looked like. "I don't blame you. I still love you. I hope you're out there somewhere, that the cycle was kind to you and you're happy now."

"I hope that Blazing is alive and well, and if she isn't, then . . . then I hope that she was brought back into a life much better than the one she had, as amazing as that was. I hope she can have a great family without anything happening to her or the ones she loved."

"And Kelp, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. To be loved. Cared for by someone special who will never let you go. Never let you down. Like I did . . . I'm so sorry, Kelp."

Many cycles now, he'd been reflecting on the ones he'd lost and wishing them well. In a cruel world, he could only hope that fate would take pity on them, give them credit for how hard they tried to be good.

"I love you all. I hope that someday, maybe not today, but someday . . . I'll see you again."

He hugged his tail around his body, curling up in a ball. It was his safe space, something where he couldn't be harmed. At least . . . not harmed a lot.

Sizzle's ear perked at the sound of a tunnel being used. He flicked to attention immediately, looking at the shelter opening where the marks flickered brightly.

The color was unfamiliar. It was maroon, like his mom, but . . . too red to be her. Too dark.

For a moment, he panicked, thinking it was one of those horrifying red lizards he heard about, but it wasn't the bright, aggressive red color that they were. This was more muted.

Could it be a scavenger? His heart leapt, thinking that it could be someone he cared about, finally coming to find him. But mom said she wasn't going to be far, and she'd never let a scavenger get this close to the shelter where I am . . .

So what is it?

Every muscle was tensed to run if needed. He'd outmaneuvered legitimate predators in these shelters before, thanks to his explosive capabilities. As the light dimmed and the shape started to emerge, it was a slugcat.

It was just his mom.

He let out a breath, though he wasn't relieved to see her. "Hey . . . " he said, glancing towards the ground. "What did you get for me?"

"I didn't get anything," a confused voice that was also MOST DEFINITELY NOT HIS MOTHER asked. "Who are you?"

"I - Uh -" Panic seized him as he suddenly shot past the figure in the entrance and through the pipe, emerging on the other size into a moist area filled with heaps of waste, and an acrid smell pierced his nose with every breath.

He didn't know where to run to. Up? Would he be fast enough? What if this slugcat could climb faster than him??

Could he hide in the nearby pool of water until they moved on? Doubtful. He wasn't the best at holding his breath, and the thought of being fully submerged again paralyzed him with fear.

No. There's no leeches here, Sizzle. It's fine.

His body refused to obey, frozen in place and shaking as the figure followed him out, blinking in the light.

"Woah," they said, glancing him up and down. "You look . . . like you've not been taking care of yourself. Want me to get some of those tangles out?"

Sizzle didn't know what to say. This strange slugcat looked similar to his mother, dark maroon fur, scars, prickly fur, and even had their left eye all scratched up. But that same eye was also wildly different and weird from the other one.

Their right was a pure, glossy white, much like their actual mother had. But the left was pitch black, save for a tiny cyan pupil that stared down at him intensely.

"M-Maybe?" He managed, but then more words tumbled out of his mouth. "What's wrong with your eye?"

"This one?" She asked, pointing to the left eye. He nodded, and she let out a warm laugh. It was the kind of sound that made him relax, just a little bit. "Oh, it's nothing. It was scratched out by a scavenger a long time ago, but then Pebbles fixed it up for me."

"W-Why is it all . . . " his paws waved wildly, searching for a description that didn't rude, but nothing came to mind.

"Screwed up? That's a long story that I don't feel like explaining right now." She took a few steps towards Sizzle, and he crouched down, ready to explode away and leave her with smoke in her face. "Just let me help you first."

As she crouched by his tail and gently began picking through tangles, Sizzle still felt weirded out by this. Every thought told him to run, but he couldn't escape now. If he played along, maybe they'd let him go unharmed. He took this time to study the slugcat more.

Aside from her eye, there were many other nasty stars on her ear, neck, tail, back, everywhere. She had shaggy, spiked-up fur and little golden accents on her paws. Her only accessories were some earrings, a pearl bracelet, and bandages along her arm. As he stared at the pearl, it looked eerily familiar . . .

"It looks just like mom's eyes!"

"She'll love it!"

"The scavengers aren't even here right now."

He flared his fur and scooted away, heart racing. "Don't - I - Where did you get that pearl?" He demanded, pressing himself against the ground.

The slugcat looked away and rubbed her normal eye. "I . . . do you really want to hear the whole story? It's long, sad, and it doesn't have a happy ending."

"I'll listen," he said, trying to hide the shake in his voice. "I promise."

"Alright then. See, I used to have two beautiful, absolutely perfect pups. I loved them to pieces. They were my whole world. You're likely not old enough to have pups of your own yet, but someday, you'll understand."

"No, no, I know how that feels," Sizzle shuddered. Why did this stranger's story seem to line up with his life?

She smiled softly and continued on. "Cada was the older one. By about . . . " she trailed off and shook her head. " . . . I can't remember anymore. But he was blue, and a little bit mischievous."

That sounds like my sister.

"The other one was green, almost like you. Her name was Fume, both because she was like the pale wisps you see from the acid, and because of her fiery temper. Just like her mom . . . "

The slugcat trailed off again, but cleared her throat and carried on. "Anywho, I was passing a toll with them by my side. Fume was on my back, and I had Cada by his hand. Well, I stopped to take a rock and give it a bit of bang, and I guess . . . I took my eyes off of Cada for too long."

No. It can't be. She can do this too. She was at the scavenger toll. That pearl . . .

The stranger took a deep breath, like she was steadying herself. Sizzle noted how her claws flexed and dug into the wet ground beneath her, making him uneasy. "Cada tried to take a pearl from their toll. This very pink one right here. He brought it to me eagerly. I told him to put it back before the scavengers noticed, but they'd already seen."

Sister . . .

"I tried to run with them both. But I had to leap over a tall wall, and Cada slipped from my hand when I did. I still regret not jumping back to try and save him." She pressed her paws against her eyes, forcing back tears. "I loved him so much. I never got to tell him how proud of him I was. And that very same bomb I stopped to make was used against me. I leapt over a pool of water - full of leeches - and the scavengers threw it at me."

His torn ear flicked, the old wound aching as the story seemed so familiar.

"I could only watch as they dragged Fume away. I . . . I couldn't save either of them."

Could that have been me? He thought, blood running cold. Was I one different moment away from being pulled by those leeches and drowning?

The strange slugcat blinked, and Sizzle saw tears only from her right eye. "I'm . . . sorry if that is hard to hear, but you did agree to hear it. I warned you."

"It's weird . . . " he murmured, getting louder as he spoke. "That sounds exactly like what happened to me. My mom could tell you that exact same story, more or less."

Her ears perked. "But . . . you're not Fume. I can tell by looking at you."

"I'm Sizzling Waters, but, everyone calls me Sizzle." He shuffled his paws awkwardly. "You can too, if you want."

She nodded slowly. "That's a scavenger name. Well, pleased to meet you, Sizzle. Call me Artificer, or Arti for short." With a flourish, she stuck out her paw.

"That's . . . " he stopped, thinking. That's mom's name, too. What do I even make of this?

Sizzle gently took it and shook it. She was warm, but it wasn't the fury his mother held. "It's . . . what?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Artificer's my mom's name, too."

She blinked, then laughed. "Oh, what a coincidence! Then, I guess I'll give you something different to call me by. Must be pretty awkward if you called me the same way you called your mom."

Sizzle stayed silent. But she's so different. She hasn't killed my family.

"Anywho, call me Ruffian, then. It's what Pebbles calls me sometimes, he doesn't mind sharing the nickname." She grinned. "I used to hate it, but it grew on me."

"Alright then . . . R-Ruffian." He shuddered and shook out his fur.

"Why are you all alone out here, I must ask. If your mother is anything like me, she'd tear up the Wastes until she found you."

"Actually, she's not far from here." That's what she said, anyway. "Maybe you could talk to her."

Ruffian laughed. "Perhaps! I do wonder, if she apparently is so similar to me, how her experience with the Chieftain has gone. I doubt it's as happy as mine is, but the beginning may be the same."

"The . . . what?" Sizzle had heard of the 'Chieftain' before, but never really knew who they were. Just that they were a scavenger leader.

"Oh, the Scavenger Chieftain. Clouds of Endless Smog, his name is, but I just call him Smog." She smiled. "It's funny. I used to really hate scavengers."

Sizzle bristled. He couldn't handle this again. Hearing about how someone hated scavengers so much they went on a rampage against them. My own mother did that.

"But . . . now I can see that they were just acting out a bit." Sizzle blinked, relaxing, willing to hear her out. "Cada took a pearl. He stole. It's that simple. Even if they were my pups, and I can still be mad, I can't be mad at every scavenger for it."

Sizzle curled his tail around his paws and listened. "What did you do?"

"Hm?"

"I mean . . . after they killed your pups?"

She sighed, like she was exhausted. "Something very stupid and very foolish of me. I went after them. Slaughtered every single one I saw, cleared out entire tolls single-handedly. I even went for the Chief himself. I killed him and took his mask."

Sizzle felt sick. She was just another scavenger killer, after all. She would have wiped Burning without a second thought. He shook. Would she hurt him for being raised with them? She recognized his name was a scavenger's, but . . .

"I changed my ways, though. Ascension is messy, and with my primal desires, I almost became an echo. Riv pulled me out, thank goodness, but . . . I had to change. I made things right."

Almost none of that made sense to Sizzle, but he nodded anyway. "Now . . . what do you think of scavengers?"

She smiled. "Well, I'm dating Smog, so there's that."

His jaw dropped. "You mean, the same one that you -"

"I know, I know, crazy, but . . . " she giggled. "He wanted to keep an eye on me, and with me fixing things, he eventually just fell for me." Rufian's eyes were much softer as she looked down. "Guess I did too, huh?"

Sizzle was about to say something else when he caught movement behind her. This, he knew, was his actual mother. Stalking up behind Ruffian, waiting to strike and take her out like a threat.

Not again.

"Ruffian, turn around," he whispered. "And then run."

He watched his mom's ears flatten. Was he too loud? Did she hear him, trying to escort his maybe-friend to safety?

Will she punish me if they escape?

She turned around, but Sizzle realized it was too slow. She'd never escape in time. His mom leapt out, sparks flying from her jaws and smoke curling from her fur as the loud PANG rocked his eardrums.

"PAWS OFF OF MY PUP!" She howled. Sizzle had never heard her so viscerally angry. Through the blur of her fast movement, her eyes were nothing but narrowed slits of hatred and anger.

Artificer barreled into Ruffian, hooking her claws into the soft maroon fur and provoking a shriek of pain. Sizzle felt frozen in place, except for moving backwards out of the way of the fight. He couldn't tell if she was bleeding yet - not against her fur color.

Ruffian kicked out with her back legs, clawing into his mom and throwing her off into the ground beneath them. He wanted to shout at them to stop fighting. To stop trying to kill each other.

Because losing either of them would kill him.

"You know NOTHING about him!" Artificer spat, hauling herself up and into the air again, grabbing Ruffian by the ears and pulling her down. "NOTHING about what he's been through! And he's MINE!"

She shrieked, before her tail seemed to burst into sparks and create such a loud noise Sizzle yelped and covered his ears. He could feel it ringing, the high-pitched agony, and he wasn't even as close as his mom was. Through the discomfort, he looked and saw Artificer covering her ears as well, her tail flicking and building up a charge.

Ruffian instead leapt away onto a higher ledge, grabbing a spear and pointing it at her. "Yield, and we both go home alive."

Sizzle hated hearing those words.

"Never," Artificer hissed, scoring the dirt with her claws and leaping up after Ruffian. "You picked your fate when you messed with my pup!"

He lost sight of the scuffle for a moment, blinking into the bright sky to watch the mother - and the mourning - rake at each other. Ruffian seemed to be intentionally not using the spear, a sign that gave Sizzle hope that both Artificers would come out of this fine.

Please say nobody dies.

Please.

Ruffian's claws tore out a chunk of his mother's fur, while she clamped down on their neck. Sizzle's heart sank, his fear and nervousness rising as Artificer jumped through the air, dragging Ruffian with her, and landing in front of Sizzle.

She let them go, blood dripping from her jaws and pooling around the body. "Go on, pup," she said, no emotion visible on her face at all, "Finish the job."

"W-What?!" He gasped. Was she insane? He - He couldn't. He could never, not in a million cycles, do this.

"Finish. The Job." She hissed, her voice grating a little bit. "This lunatic decided to mess with you. Probably filled your head with dangerous ideas. Maybe even tried to hurt you. Don't you want revenge?"

He whimpered, curling his tail around him. What if this slugcat was his sister? Or Burning? Or any of his tribemates? As unlikely as that sounded, the cycles worked in mysterious ways. All he thought, looking at the bloody fur before him, was I can't do this.

He didn't have to. Ruffian's paw shot out, grabbing Artificer by the chest and dragging her to ground, staggering upright while still bleeding. "I won't die that easy, you mangy mutt."

She was breathing hard, and shaking a little, but alive. Artificer snarled and twisted around, but Ruffian brought her foot down and pinned her on her back. "Stay down. I may not have a spear, but I know where your arteries are."

Artificer growled, but to Sizzle's amazement, didn't struggle. Was she planning to do something else?

Ruffian sighed, rubbing her neck and wincing. "Yeesh, that hurts a lot. I thought I knew pain over here, but I guess - " she stopped to cough and shiver.

"Ruffian?" Sizzle's voice was quiet. "Are you . . . going to be okay?"

"It won't kill me. Pebbles gives me all I need to survive these things. It does hurt, though."

"Serves you right," Arti spat. Ruffian dug her claws in, prompting his mother to hiss and writhe on the ground.

"I can't afford to leave this place right now," they started, sighing. "I won't make it out of here before the rain comes, and I have business to attend to anyway."

"What kind of business, pup thief?" Artificer grumbled something else to herself, and Ruffian groaned.

"The scavengers hate me again, for one. Probably because I look like you, apparently have the same name, and we share the same trauma."

The silence afterwards was deafening. Artificer blinked a few times, then quietly said, "Don't you want to wipe them out too, then?"

"Not anymore," Ruffian said, stepping back and letting her get up. "I stayed because I want to talk to you. If we really are so similar, then I can help you change too."

"No," Artificer hissed and her fur bristled. "They have to die for what they did. For my pups - "

"Is it even about them anymore?!" Ruffian shouted, tearing up again. "If you're me, then that answer is a resounding no! It stopped being about the pups long ago, and now it's only about a senseless slaughter!"

Sizzle buried his face in his fur. Is that true? This strange slugcat . . . is she going to get through to my mom? Will she ever change? Is it possible?

Artificer was silent, but disappeared over a ledge for a moment and came back with a scavenger corpse. Then another. "Here. I got these two, easy pickings, split off from their patrol group. I can at least send you off with something to eat."

Ruffian blinked, then sighed. "Iterators, the scavengers are going to kill me for this, but I need to eat." She crouched down and tore out chunks of meat, wolfing them down hungrily. Sizzle was petrified.

How?! HOW CAN ANYONE EAT THEM WITH HALF A HEART?!

Artificer cut off a piece of one and tossed it to Sizzle as well. "Come on, pup. You too."

"I'm . . . I'm not hungry," he murmured, looking away. "Please."

Ruffian paused, staring at him. "You're skinny as a pole, you must be starving right now. Eat. It will give you strength."

He shivered. This was wrong. So wrong, on so many levels. "I'm not . . . I'm really not . . . "

Artificer narrowed her eyes, but Ruffian dug through a small pouch hidden in her fur and pulled out a bluefruit, passing it to Sizzle. "Eat this, then. I keep some on me for Ranger to eat when he gets in a funk."

Sizzle's stomach growled. He didn't want to accept food from a stranger, but . . . hunger got the better of him as he gulped it down in nearly one bite. "T-Thank you, Ruffian . . . "

Artificer shot her a dirty look, and she shook her head. "Don't mention it. I carry spare food for my pup, like a good mother does."

"I thought - You said your pups died," Sizzle said, curious but worried. "What do you mean you have one now?"

"Ranger. I call him that, since it's what he wants me to, though he looks so similar to Fume that it pains me. I found him all alone, so I took him in as my own. I know he has a family now, but I just . . . can't let him go."

Arti smirked. "See? I don't hold my pup here against his will. He wants to be with me. That makes me a better mother than you."

Sizzle blinked. Do I want to be with her? Or do I just want to be with somebody?

Ruffian narrowed her eyes and bristled. "Don't start comparing. You're lucky yours survived at all."

"And I keep him that way. Where's yours right now, hm? Probably off being eaten by some scrawny lizard." Artificer smirked. Sizzle knew she was trying to agitate Ruffian, but he couldn't find the words to tell her that.

"He's safely hanging with Gourmand right now," she said, her voice lower and much more threatening now. "I can be confident letting mine out of my sight."

Artificer flicked her tail. "So can I. I left Sizzle just this cycle so he could have more time to recover from that awful shock of losing his lizard so suddenly."

Ruffian's eyes widened, and she turned to Sizzle. "Was - I'm so sorry, what color was your friend?"

"Pet," Arti spat, correcting her.

Sizzle stammered, trying not to get caught up in grief. "He - He was Blue. A King Vulture got him. It was - it - " he couldn't cry here. Not now. Not in front of his mom and this other strange slugcat.

She sighed in relief. "I was so worried for a moment. I had a nice tasty white one just a few cycles ago. But, no blue ones. If it makes you feel any better, heck, I've killed plenty of King Vultures."

"That doesn't help," he moaned, clutching his head.

"You're scaring him," Artificer said, huffing. "Now, go run along already. Or I'll chase you off again."

"You can stop threatening me," Ruffian said, glaring. "Sizzle, I hope to see you again sometime. You give me memories of a happier time. Stay safe out here."

Artificer stamped her foot before he could respond. "Hush up and go already," she growled, picking up the nearby spear that had been dropped in the fight.

Sizzle sighed. "Stay safe too, R-Ruffian. Okay?"

She nodded, and turned, preparing to leap again. Sizzle felt sad watching her go, but knew it was for the better. I'd rather have scavengers anyway. Not more slugcats. I hate my own species. What a mistake I am.

Artificer clutched the spear tightly, slowly walking up to Ruffian. Sizzle's alarm bells started to go off in his brain, but he was too slow to say anything. Ruffian's tail sparked, she reached her paws into the sky -

Artificer stabbed her, straight through the back.

Sizzle leapt up, rushing to Ruffian's side without even thinking. "NO!" he screamed. "No, NO!"

He was crying. No, sobbing was the better term for it. "Why would you do that?!" he yelled, looking at his mom, who only shrugged and wiped some blood off her fur. "She was leaving!"

"I had to teach her a lesson somehow. A warning to others, perhaps."

Sizzle wanted to be mad. To keep shouting and screaming. But it just wasn't his nature to do that. He just looked down at Ruffian, who was convulsing and gingerly touching the spear running through her chest.

"Ruffian . . . please, don't die. Come back, okay? Come back and be fine, please."

She reached out with a shaking paw, but couldn't reach Sizzle. " . . . I'll come back. I . . . I always do."

"I'm so, so sorry for what mom just did to you. I - I - " he broke down, curling beside her body.

"Shh . . . " she tried to smile. "I'll wake up . . . like everything else does. Your mom is just - " she stopped to cough, blood still pooling from the wound and from her mouth as well. " - just trying to to look out for you."

He didn't know why he cared for this stranger so much. Maybe just because they were willing to talk to him. They weren't a threat to him. And she had been nothing but kind to him.

Why did mom do that?

She was leaving.

She didn't do anything to me.

As Ruffian blinked, her right eye seemed to flick to match her left one as well all of a sudden. Sizzle didn't even notice until her faint and raspy voice had changed to a much stronger one, though still clearly pained and dying.

"You. Disgusting feral beast. I thought I'd never see you again. But clearly, you're some version of my partner that never moved on."

"I urge you, specifically, to go west, past the farm arrays. I don't care that you're bound to this world. Do everyone a favor. Solve the universal problem that you cause by existing."

"You are a stain in this world. A violent beast that needs to be changed or removed. You have no right to call that pup yours, when clearly, you two are so different."

Ruffian's eyes closed finally, and Artificer's ears flattened. "Finally, it shuts up and dies proper."

Sizzle took a moment to try and process what she'd said. About going west. His mom being a violent stain on this world.

He wondered who the voice was.

Why they only talked now.

But a corpse couldn't give him answers.

"Don't you feel better now, pup?" his mom asked, leaning down. "It's much quieter."

" . . . let's go," he whispered.

"Hm?"

"Let's just go sleep again."

she sighed. "My pup, the cycle has only just begun. The day is still bright."

"I don't care. I want to sleep again."

Artificer sighed and shook her head. "Fine. But next cycle, you're coming out with me, and you're finally going to eat proper and bulk up again."

Sizzle slipped into the shelter, looking back at the bloodstained red body left lying on the ground. His mom had grabbed her and was dragging it right outside the shelter as a 'warning to others', holding the corpse like a broken toy.

Ruffian . . . Artificer . . . I'm so sorry.

May your next life be far happier than this one was.

* * * * * * * * * *

GAH I went overboard but WRITING!

I just wanted to write something happier and then still crush Sizzle's hopes for happiness.

Enjoy this entire novel I wrote, lol -

Im not tagging others or doing proper tags because I am tired-

[corazondebeskar-reads]

you know you never stood a chance - deleted scene #1

you know you never stood a chance series

deleted scene #1: you don't have to go home

series masterlist

Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: 3.5k

Summary: set after the finale (like a few hours later lol) but before the epilogue. Joel catches a moderate but not life-threatening illness that forces you to tackle a subject you'd rather avoid.

Warnings: established relationship, angst, technically spoilers for tlou pt 2, poor communication, p in v, illness, anxiety, avoidance of feelings, major life decisions

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

When you see Tommy’s smug face at dinner, you turn on the heel of your boot to leave.

“Where’re you going?” Ellie says, coming up behind you. “You eating outside?”

“Sure, yup, that’s it,” you say, clutching your tray with both hands.

“Cool! Joel, I’m going to eat outside too,” she calls over her shoulder.

You risk a glance to see Joel looking at the two of you, brows wrinkled. He shrugs, and Tommy shakes his head at you.

“Chicken,” he mouthes.

You flip him off and go find a patch of grass to picnic on.

Ellie talks while she eats, food occasionally spraying out of her rapid-fire mouth. You’re more than happy to sit quietly and listen, to hear about the other kids she’s met and the neat things she’s found in her new room.

Your fortune doesn’t last. Tommy comes out of the hall with his hands in his pockets, still smirking.

“Ellie, why don’t you go grab some dessert?” he says as he helps himself to a seat on the ground.

“No thanks,” she says, looking between you.

“It’s pie,” he says.

“No thanks,” she says again. She puts on a very unnerving fake smile made worse by her widened eyes.

“He’s trying to get you to leave—“ you start.

She interrupts. “I know. I wanna hear whatever it is.”

“He’s trying to get you to leave so he can ask me about grownup stuff.”

Her nose crinkles as she catches on. “Ugh,” she groans and hauls herself to her feet before going inside. She takes both of your empty trays with her, and you feel a little sting of pride, however misplaced.

“So,” Tommy grins. “Nothin’ between you ‘n my brother, huh?”

You groan and bury your face in your hands. “Shut up.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

You look up, and the smugness is gone. “What all did he tell you?”

“Just that y’all had ‘some kinda situation’ back in Boston. And that you stayed over there last night.”

You snort and shake your head. “I guess ‘some kinda situation’ is about right. I didn’t want to tell you I was fuckin’ him for rent.”

His eyes widen. “Shit.”

“Yeah. And for food, before that. Didn’t want you to think I was a whore, I guess.” You’re sitting with your legs crossed, but it doesn’t stop your knee from bouncing as you look anywhere but Tommy.

“Hey, no,” he says, leaning forward. “Look, ain’t nothin’ wrong with surviving however you got to.”

You feel a wretched sting at the corner of your eyes. He was always so goddamn genuine, but it was still hard to accept his words at their value.

He scoots over and grabs your hand. “I mean it. I’m not gonna judge you for that.”

“Thanks,” you whisper, squeezing his hand.

“That why you don’t wanna move into their place?”

“What?”

“I was gonna offer to help move your stuff, but Joel said you told Ellie you were stayin’ put.”

“Do you need me to? To make room for someone?”

“No! No, you can stay. I just figured you’d want the company. And well, Joel said—“

You wait, but he pretends to be distracted by a honey bee.

“Joel said what?”

“Just, he thought you would. Since y’all lived together before, and you talked about it.”

You snort. “We talked about it? Is that what he calls our conversation from this morning?”

“I dunno. It’s Joel. You think he gave me all the details?”

“Fair. Nah, I’d like to stay on my own. Not that anyone asked me to do anything different.”

It’s then that Maria wanders out with Alé, setting her down to explore. She screws up her little face, ready to rage about being placed on her tummy before she realizes she’s somewhere fun.

Joel and Ellie come out a few moments later to find the three of you watching Alé intently. She’s given up on trying to eat the grass after several unsuccessful attempts. Her little fist would open and close, only to find herself empty-handed when she brought it to her mouth.

Now, however, she’s returned to frustration and is attempting to roll herself onto her back.

It’s not going well, but you’re all watching and encouraging her.

Ellie squats to peer down at her. “You’re like a big potato,” she says.

Joel wipes a hand down his face. “Ellie,” he warns.

“What?”

“Is that any way to talk to your cousin?”

She looks up at him, startled. “Uhh. I don’t know. I’ve never had a cousin before.” She regards Alé again. “You’re a strong potato. You can do it.”

Alé responds with a loud yell as she pushes again and then falls quiet as she finds herself flat on her back looking up at Ellie.

Her little audience cheers and claps, unfortunately startling her. Maria and Tommy shower her in praise, and you stand up, stepping back by Joel.

“You comin’ back to ours?” he says, not looking at you.

“No, not tonight.” You need the space. You’ve grown accustomed to being alone, found peace in it even, and the last two days have been a new kind of exhausting.

But you see the way his lips twitch into a scowl before he schools his face back to neutral.

“Mind walking me home?” you offer.

The tension falls just a fraction from his shoulders. “Course not,” he says. “You gotta lead the way, though.”

Tommy shoots you a look you don’t know how to interpret when you say goodnight.

“Are you going to be gross? Do I need to stay out of the house?” Ellie says far too loudly.

“Nah, you’re safe,” Joel says, shaking his head.

It’s weird. You hold hands on the walk back. It’s a quiet intimacy you’d never even considered to share with him before.

The warmth of his palm and cradle of his fingers are undeniably nice.

It’s also undeniably awkward. You stand on your porch, stiffly holding hands like he hasn’t been inside you a hundred times over.

You look up at him and appreciate the way the sunset falls across his back.

He brings his free hand up to cup the back of your head and gives you maybe the chastest kiss you’ve ever had. Certainly more than you ever thought him capable of. It kind of hurts your feelings, actually.

“What the hell was that?”

His brow furrows. “What?”

“You kissed me like I’m your grandma!”

He rolls his eyes to high heaven. “I was tryin’ to be respectful.”

“Gross. You know what? That was disrespectful. Kiss me proper, Miller.”

He’s more than happy to oblige, even though it results in the boner he was trying to avoid in the first place. He gets you pressed up against your front door with a handful of ass and your soft moans against his lips.

You break away when you hear a voice down the road and put your hand against his chest, gently pushing him back.

“Guess I should get goin’,” he says. He doesn’t move, though.

You’re all too aware of the way his cock is straining against his jeans and you almost invite him in. How you manage to find the self-control not to, you’ll never know. But it feels important, somehow, that you sleep alone tonight.

“You wanna meet up for breakfast in the morning?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says. His hands rest on your hips as he steals one last kiss. “I’ll see ya then, sweetheart.”

You can’t seem to stomach the idea of watching him walk away, so you go inside.

He waits until he hears the deadbolt click before he heads for home.

Summer withers, and autumn sees you spending the night together a couple of times a week. Always you at theirs—you never ask him over to your place. It’s a silly line you’ve drawn, and even though you know you’re the one who put it there, you feel bitter on the cold nights alone.

Worse yet, you know you’re only doing it out of stubbornness. You made a big fucking deal out of it, and now you have to stick with it so it doesn’t look like you’re weak. Like you can’t be alone. Like you need him.

And also, no one has fucking asked you to do any differently, so. Whatever.

But it’s not like you don’t know that he wants to.

No, he hasn’t asked, but he may as well have. His clothes are kept to one side of the closet. There are three empty drawers in his dresser.

His books are crammed on the top half of the shelves in the living room, stacked askew in a way you knew had to drive him crazy. The fuck you quilt hangs over the back of the sofa, though it’s more often found wrapped around Ellie.

By the first snowfall, he keeps a toothbrush for you in the medicine cabinet beside his own. There’s a Joel-shaped indent in the left side of the mattress, betraying how the right stays vacant when you’re gone.

The list goes on. The coffee mug. The little tin of vaseline for your chapped lips on the nightstand. All the spaces where nothing sits, waiting.

But he doesn’t ask.

You haven’t seen Joel for two days. It’s weird. You’re not sure how to feel about it—you’re the one who wanted space, after all. But so far, you’ve at least met at the mess hall for a meal each day.

You’re walking home after working the breakfast shift on the third day when Ellie catches up with you. You’ve seen her around but haven’t wanted to ask after Joel, not wanting her to think you only talked to her for him.

She looks nervous, though. She’s fiddling with her sleeves and won’t look at you, so you come to a stop.

“What’s going on, kiddo?”

“I’m not supposed to tell you.”

“Sure, that’s not suspicious or anything.” You’re trying not to be anxious, but her energy is rubbing off.

“Look, don’t get mad; I only agreed not to because it didn’t seem like a big deal, but now it seems like a big deal—”

“Are you in trouble? Is somebody making you uncomfortable?” A thousand bad scenarios have come to life in your mind, each increasingly ridiculous but horrifying. Maybe that’s why Joel’s missing. Maybe someone laid a hand on Ellie, and he killed them. You hope he did.

“What? No,” her scoff cuts through your panic. “Joel’s sick. He didn’t want you to come by and get sick, so he made me promise not to say anything. But he’s being stupid, and now he can barely walk to the bathroom without hacking up a lu—wait, where are you going?”

“Where do you think I’m going? I’m going to give your idiot father a piece of my mind,” you growl.

She jogs to catch up with you, but her face is red, and she won’t look at you again.

Your brain catches up with your tongue, and you pause. “Hey, I didn’t mean to be weird—”

“It’s fine,” she says. “Let’s go. I wanna watch you yell at him.”

You don’t. Not right away, at least. He’s asleep when you get there, and honestly, it’s a little upsetting how unwell he looks. It kind of shakes the anger right out of you.

You promise Ellie you’ll wait for her to come home to yell at him.

The idea of climbing into bed with him is extremely tempting. Instead, you start to draw warm water for a bath and tidy up the things left behind in the wake of his deteriorating condition.

It’s not much. Even sick, Joel is relatively neat. Also, it’s pretty obvious that he’s been living in the same sweats and tee for the last three days. You make sure to set a clean outfit and warm socks on the bathroom counter.

With Ellie bringing dinner from the mess later, you don’t have much to do other than brew tea. The kettle’s on when you hear a groan from upstairs.

He’s heaved himself to sitting when you crack the door open.

“Ellie, I told you to stay out. I don’t want to get you sick.” His voice is crackling and raspy.

You push it open, scowling. “Well, you didn’t tell me shit, so.”

The glower is there immediately. “I’m tellin’ you now, then. Get out.”

“Nope. You lost that chance. Now you’re gonna suck it up and get taken care of.” You start stripping the sweaty sheets off his bed while he’s still sitting on it. “Go on and get in the bath.”

“I’m just gonna lay back down for a bit,” he mumbles.

You press the back of your hand against his forehead, followed by your lips. “You’re burning up. Get in the tub.”

But when you stand, his head follows, and you let him rest against your stomach for a minute, carding your hand through his damp hair.

“C’mon,” you urge, tugging at his hand. He lets you lead him into the bathroom, a marker of how sick he really must be.

The kettle hollers while he’s stripping down, and he’s settled once you return with the tea.

“I don’t want any shitty leaf water right now,” he grumps.

“Too bad! It has honey and lemon, and your throat’s seen better days.”

He accepts the cup, but he’s scowling.

“Y’know, you’re not very scary, butt ass naked in a tub with an owl on your mug,” you remark, sitting on the floor and leaning against the cabinet so you can see him.

“You shouldn’t be here. You’re going to get sick. Did Ellie squeal?”

“Joel, I haven’t seen you in three days. Did you think I wasn’t going to get worried?”

His scowl pouts. “I didn’t mean to worry ya.”

“Yeah, well, you did. So. Don’t do that again.” You purse your lips and look at your tea.

“Hey,” he says, water sloshing as he shifts to get a better look at you. “You don’t gotta do… all this,” he says, gesturing to the mug and the bedroom, where you’ve tucked clean sheets onto his mattress.

“I know.”

He’s loathe to admit it, but the bath did help. Worse yet, the tea helped. He feels a little more human in clean clothes, but you still refuse his help cleaning up.

When you’re done, however, you peel back the blanket and crawl into bed with him. So maybe it’s not all bad, he thinks.

At least, until Ellie gets home and you properly scold him.

He’s asleep more than he’s awake, so you stay. You toss and turn and check on him about a hundred times. If the fever would break, you’d feel better. Except no, you wouldn’t, because that cough that’s settled in his chest scares you far more than you’d like to admit.

You’re not privy to the medical stock in Jackson, but you have a bad feeling that an old man with pneumonia wouldn’t be high on the list for antibiotics.

Not that you think he’d accept them, anyway. He’d be too worried about using up something a kid might need. Or anyone else. He doesn’t seem to realize anyone would put him first.

You and Ellie just might let the town burn for him. (But when you think of Alé, you kind of get it.)

Anyway. When he’s awake, he’s groggy, but you manage to convince him to eat. Never much at once, so you make sure it’s soup or oatmeal. Something soft and packed with nutrients.

On the third day of your stay, he starts to come ‘round the mend. The fever breaks. He starts to stay awake for longer than a couple of hours.

You set him up with what you can and return to your life, but you can’t make yourself go home at night. It’s just because of the damn cough, you tell yourself. You just need to keep an eye on it.

A couple of nights later, he’s awake when you peel the covers back and slide in behind him, arm curling around his waist. You press a kiss to the nape of his neck, nestling in as he rewards you with a contented hum. He lets you hold him for a minute, basking in the embrace before he rolls onto his back.

You’re clinging to him a little too tight.

“Rough patrol?” He says.

You shake your head where it’s buried in his tee. “Nothin’ we couldn’t handle.”

“Don’t like you havin’ to handle anything,” he grumbles. He knows, both because he’s been told repeatedly and because he’s seen you handle the weapon, that you can protect yourself now.

It doesn’t mean he likes it.

“I was with Tommy. We were fine.” You yawn. It has to be past two now, what with shift change come midnight and then all the cleanup after.

He slips his arm under you so he can tug you closer, rubbing a hand up and down your arm. You press a kiss in the thicket of hair at the center of his chest, and he wonders if he’ll ever get used to this. He hopes not—he doesn’t ever want to take it for granted.

You yawn again, eyes watering, but your exhaustion is betrayed by the way your hips press against his thigh.

“What do you need, darlin’? Want me to lick your pussy until you fall asleep?”

“Can I ride you?” you counteroffer.

He groans, cock twitching to attention. “Of course, pretty girl.”

He helps you straddle him and reaches to peel the old t-shirt off your body so he can admire your tits in the moonlight. And the way your face goes soft when you see how he’s looking at you.

You waste no time, shifting around until you’ve got his cock in your hand and are settling atop it. You moan in tandem as he spreads you, the broad tip of him easily pressing through the slick.

“Needy tonight, huh? What’s got you all worked up?” he teases.

“Just you,” you say through a gasp as you grind down all the way.

He reaches up, maybe for your breasts, but you don’t find out. Instead, you intercept them and entwine your fingers.

He gets the idea and holds firm, ever your unwavering foundation. You use his support to gyrate, hips grinding as your thighs push around his to slide up and down on his cock.

Your palms are sweaty, but his grip is tight and desperate. His head tilts back, exposing the long column of his neck.

“Fuck,” you whimper as you get the angle just right. It makes you jerk a little, bumping that sweet spot again. He grunts, teeth gritted as you clamp down around him. When he looks back up at you, he’s positively ravenous.

“No,” you say before he opens his mouth with some bullshit.

“C’mon,” he whines.

“You’re still sick. I’m not lettin’ you cough up a lung. You’re gonna lay there and take what I give ya.”

His eyes narrow at the over the top Texan accent you saved for the last bit. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

“You think I’m funny. You love all my jokes.”

“Damned if I don’t,” he grumbles, but it’s betrayed by the look in his eyes. “You, too, y’know.”

You almost freeze up but decide to play obtuse. “You’re right; I do love all my jokes.”

He opens his mouth again, so you change pace a little to throw him off.

It works.

Whatever he was about to say, which you know damn well but aren’t prepared to handle right now, comes out as a broken moan.

In the end, it slips out of you a few days later. It’s not triggered by anything; he doesn’t do anything charming, there’s no intense moment of intimacy or heroism that inspires it.

You don’t mean to say it, but you do mean it.

You’re sitting side by side on his porch, steaming mugs of tea in hand. The pale winter sun has barely broken the horizon, but you had still agreed to come out in the cold with him. Agreed it might be good for him to get some fresh air.

The fuck you quilt is draped over both your shoulders. Joel had grabbed it on the way out the door while you balanced the tea and put your boots on. It cocoons you, but there’s still a little space between you, knees knocking together but bodies apart.

You watch his breath curl out into the dawn, and it just happens.

“I love you, Joel,” you say. It’s quiet, softer than the creak of the swing. It takes you by surprise, as your tongue so often does, but you don’t try to reel it back or brace for disaster.

You don’t need to. You know.

But he freezes. Pauses.

He didn’t know, you realize, he wasn’t sure. All this time, he wasn’t saying it but still making sure you knew.

But you haven’t done the same for him.

He didn’t know.

He wraps his free arm around your shoulder and tucks you into him, chin resting on your head. “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

The peace lasts for about a minute.

“Now will you stop being so goddamn stubborn and move in?”

*title from "Closing Time" by Semisonic

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman- Chapter 3 (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Background- You are a Nightmask Death Bringer who was kidnapped by a Nautiloid Ship. Along with 6 strangers, you search Faerun for a cure for the Tadpoles in your heads- before it’s too late.

(Sorry guys, it will get more romantic)

(Also if you sent a request, I am going to do them this weekend tomorrow. Work is exhausting)

TW: Gore, death, nightmares, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, mentions of Cannibalism but like barely cause vampirism?

Chapter Four

Chapter 3: Rowan (you!)

It has been a few days since Astarion fed on you. It wasn’t much of a bother or a nuisance for him to ask. You even gave him permission to do it again as long as he asks first. He was thrilled.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t just said something. You literally trained under a vampire spawn-needing blood was normal. You immediately knew Astarion was a vampire spawn and who better to drink from than you- the potential vampire empathizer. You were expecting it. Statistically, you were the one who would be less likely to put a wooden stake in his chest.

What you didn’t expect, however, was Astarion’s confession regarding the experience of drinking your blood.

“I have had this condition for two centuries, but truth be told… you were my first,” he says, avoiding your eyes.

You stand and sit in your silent shock. His first? You knew and well, anyone who had a basic knowledge of vampires, knew that Vampire Spawn are much stronger with humanoid blood running through their veins. Dahlia feeds her spawn humanoid blood. Hells- she even encouraged it. You stare at him with confusion and he avoids your eyes again.

He nervously continues, “In all these years, I’ve only ever fed on beasts. Drinking the blood of thinking creatures is a different thing entirely. You were delectable and now I’m wondering how the others would taste…”

He looks at you as if to see if you’ll indulge him. You see through his facade. Although he wants you to believe he is confident in what he just said, your eyes see the fear of being judged and crucified.

You feign heartbreak and pretend to cry in agony.

“You are already looking at other necks?” you gasp, “I’m hurt!”

He gives you a toothy grin followed by an eye roll. You swear you see his eyes soften for a second as he watches you.

“Oh don’t worry darling, I don’t think they would be open to the idea anyhow. Alas, it doesn’t hurt to ponder the question though?”

“Well, give me some examples. What do you think our companions taste like?”

He taps his chin, pretending to think- like he hasn’t thought about this talking point all day.

“Take Gale for example. He strikes me as someone who’s blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy,” He suggests, “but the gith? What in the hells would she taste like?”

You grimace. You know exactly what a gith tastes like, but you aren’t sure if your taste buds were similar to his in regards to blood.

“I’ve tried gith blood,” you say while your mouth twists in disgust, “their blood tastes like Whalebone Spice to me, but maybe your taste buds are different.”

It took a minute for Astarion to register what you said before he let out a chuckle.

“Sometimes I forget the whole… ya know” he gestures to you, “but the real question is, if you could try anyone’s blood in camp, who would it be?”

You hadn’t actually put much thought into that. You peer around at your companions. Gale has a giant bomb in him- so no. Lae’zel you already know is a no. Karlach would literally light you on fire the minute you sunk your teeth in her and Wyll? You were already on his shit list for messing with him too much and you were attempting to patch that relationship up. So that leaves either Astarion or Shadowheart and you certainly were not going to feed Astarion’s ego any further.

“Hmm Shadowheart. I think she’d taste like Honey wine.”

“Oh that sounds very appealing. I’m almost convinced.”

You narrow your eyes with a playful grin on your face, “All hypothetical still, yes?”

“Absolutely,” he smiles back, “a mere thought experiment.”

After, he leaves to go hunting. You watch him saunter off into the woods- a part of you wanting to go along.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like your other companions- in fact everyone (minus Wyll) had really taken to you.

Gale was constantly coming up to you, showing off different magic tricks, and asking questions about your… condition. Shadowheart enjoys drinking a glass of wine with you after a particularly shitty day and Lae’zel enjoys picking your brain about different fighting styles- teaching each other new moves and advantages/disadvantages to use against enemies.

Karlach had taken the title of “Honorary Best Friend” because well, she is. You were beyond grateful for Karlach and her goofiness- she humbles you, makes you feel less serious about yourself.

She’s also….. Safe. Safe. A feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time.

Then there was Astarion.

That beautiful fucking bastard. You have come across plenty of handsome men in your travels, but not one of them held a candle to Astarion. You found yourself enjoying parts of him that you usually wouldn’t notice or maybe find attractive.

You enjoy his quick wit, shameless flirting, and a lack of overall seriousness about life. You figure it’s a ruse, but for now, you let both of you enjoy not being under the thumb of a Master Vampire for once. You also find him to be very funny- frequently having to stifle laughter so you don’t sound like a school girl. Oh and his lock picking skills? A rogue could only dream.

Karlach teased you ruthlessly after your first week at camp.

“I see why you wear the mask now.”

“What do you mean?”

Karlach snickered, “Oh pleaseeeeeeee- you look at Fangs with puppy eyes. It’s adorable!”

You scoffed, “There are no puppy eyes.”

“Whatever,” Karlach giggled like a schoolgirl, “Astarion and Rowan sitting in a tree-”

“KARLACH!”

Maybe you are a bit smitten, but you know he would never give you a second glance if you hadn’t both fell out of the sky with tadpoles in your head.

Besides, it was better to keep him and everyone at arm’s length. Tessa’s murder had broken you. If something happened to any of your companions because of you… you didn’t know what would happen. You just hope you don’t ever have to find out.

You had been attempting to stay away from Astarion, but he certainly wasn’t allowing you any space away from him. As you travel, he keeps pace with you in the back. He showers you with honeyed words, but he does ask genuine questions about you here and there.

When you are fighting, he is often near you and follows the way you move. It made fights feel like a bloody, gorey ballroom dance- except you lead and he follows. You both typically loot rooms together as well. So if anything- you are realizing you are basically fucked and your emotions probably aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Sometimes he just wants to understand how you became a Deathbringer and your assortment of abilities.

He frequently asked if it was the same process as becoming a spawn, who would win in an arm wrestle match (you think it would be you and secretly he does too), can you see in the dark, can blood sustain you without you ever eating food, etc, etc.

You told him you weren’t close enough to share ‘your mutual rising from the undead stories yet.” He snickered at that and left the conversation alone. You did answer his questions regarding your physical feats.

All the while you soak in how beautiful he is and take in his playful, mischievous disposition. You know he will break your heart and you don’t know if you are worried enough to care.

My Gods! Rowan FOCUS! No more pup-

You feel a hard slap on your shoulder, interrupting your train of thought. Gale offers a smile and asks if you would like to enjoy some wine with him around the campfire. You accept. You might as well take the time to relax and get to know your companions.

Tomorrow you were heading out to discover what Kagha is up to and her plans for the Grove- much to Astarion’s dismay. Astarion was not happy with you accepting Zevlor’s request for aid, but he insisted on going tomorrow anyway.

You had taken the role of leader because you were the only one who was neutral enough to delegate solutions, find problems in people’s biased solutions, and then make a decision based on what would ultimately be best for the group. It’s exhausting.

You are no hero. You never wanted to be and you certainly never claimed to be. You just want to get back home-to Baldur’s gate, to work, to peace and quiet. Before you are forced to stay in Westgate for Gods only knows how long. The Faceless always has something waiting for you.

You and Gale sat around the fire drinking a bottle of wine and getting to know each other. You also make plans to meet Tara after all this is over.

The first bottle of wine being finished led to the unfortunate second bottle of wine.

You aren’t upset at how your head feels like it’s swimming and your limbs are floating in space. You feel free for the very first time in a while. Being out under the stars, drinking wine with a new companion, and nowhere near the crime riddled city of Westgate.

“Soooooooo,” Gale slurs, “I can’t imagine you grew up wishing to be a Deathbringer, hmm?”

Ah, you thought, of course the wizard decided to get me drunk and ask me personal questions.

You narrow your eyes at him, searching his face for signs of manipulation or hidden intentions, but all you see is- curiosity? Gale was sitting with himself leaning towards you, making direct eye contact, and a look of utter fascination- a need for knowledge.

“Uh well-”

“Oh and what in the hells is going on here?”

Astarion comes up to you both- tiny splatters of blood on his shirt. He pouts as he looks at you.

“You drank a bottle of wine and started another one!? Without me!?” He puts the back of his hand to his forehead like a damsel in distress, “darling, I must insist that you repay me by letting me join this little social gathering.”

You hear Gale’s huff of frustration as you shrug.

“Makes sense.”

Astarion smiles widely, sitting himself right next to you on the makeshift log- you miss the shit eating grin he flashes Gale.

Karlach appears out of thin air, grabbing the bottle out of your hands. She smiles at you as she plops down next to Gale.

“A party and you didn’t even invite me,” Karlach shakes her head, “for shame.”

Karlach takes a swig of the wine before handing it to you. You fill your cup up and fastly drink the terrible (and probably very cheap) wine. Astarion scrunches his face in disgust as he takes his first sip.

He sighs, “Beggars can’t be choosers I guess.”

“Anyyyywayyy,” Gale says with annoyance in his voice, “did you always want to be a Deathbringer?”

All six eyes look at you with anticipation as you stare into the fire- contemplating what you are going to say.

Did you always want to be a Deathbringer? No- you didn’t want to at all. In fact, in your earlier years, you had wanted to remain in the village and become a healer.

Even now you didn’t want to be a Deathbringer. You had hoped you would be free of this life with Tessa. You had a plan-you would leave the night before the rite and you would flee with her to Baldur’s Gate. You had talked about buying a town home in Baldur’s Gate.

When you had enough money, you bought a town home. Still empty besides a bed and occasionally food.

You begin slowly, “No actually. When I lived with my parents in our small town, I wanted to become a great healer. I guess all I wanted was to survive Westgate once I got there. Then I met Dahlia and it was no longer about what I wanted. Well until I became a Deathbringer under the Faceless.”

You look up at your companions as they all look at you with varying expressions. Gale looks like he is exploding trying not to ask for more details. Karlach also looks at you as if you are on the verge of telling the greatest stories alive and then there was Astarion. Astarion’s face was unreadable.

“There really isn’t that much more to it,” you slur, “and anyway. It’s probably about time I hit the hay!”

Despite how inebriated you are, you manage to make it to your tent and close yourself in. You feel tears fall down your eyes.

Gods!

You definitely said too much and that’s why you booked it. In your previous life, Dahlia would have chastised and beaten you for your disdain over becoming what you are. You were always meant to be the next best Deathbringer- her favorite weapon of choice. Not to be loved. Not to be given the mercy of kindness. No matter how much you feel like you deserve it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You slowly creep into the sewer holding your breath in anticipation. Looking for the Mercenary that was hired to kill a powerful ally of the Faceless was no easy task. Dahlia had vouched for you at the meeting with the Faceless. Her eagerness to show you off won. Now here you are, looking for some douchebag Mercenary who probably wasn’t even that big of a threat to some Duke anyway, but having an easy fight with a mercenary was more preferable to the beating Dahlia would give you if you refused. You were going to be the next Deathbringer. She would make sure of it.

As you walk through the cave, the smell of rotting hits your nose. Something has been dead here for a moment. Possibly not very long considering the Gods awful heatwave you had been having in Westgate.

You continue your slow trek down the sewer when you hear her scream. You shoot straight up on your feet turning in the direction of the voice and you run. You run like fucking hells. Your head screams her name. Tessa. Tessa. Tessa.

Her screams became substantially more blood curdling as you hurled your way down the tunnel, but it’s too late. Her insides were sprawled across the sewer like a disgusting sculpture. Her face was lifeless and bloodied- the right side of it completely destroyed. You feel sick.

*Tear*

You turn slowly towards the direction of the horrific, wet noise.

A man in plain clothes and bright crimson red eyes looks at you. Her heart in his hand as he takes a bite out of it like an apple.

The scream rips through you as you rush forward and-

You wake from your sleep with a painful gasp. Your stomach is turning. You sit up and immediately turn to the side and nearly vomit. You manage to take a few deep breaths and get on your feet.

You push through your tent flaps and hastily rush in the direction of a lake you had found earlier that day.

When you are certain none of your companions have seen you, you begin to run.

The tears sting your face as you go racing through the forest. Your lungs are killing you- barely getting enough air to calm down-let alone run the way you are.

Your mind is swimming with thoughts of her. The way she laughed, her smile, her lips against yours, everytime she healed you when you snuck into her dorm.

When she came to your aide when you were left for dead- how she brought hope back into your heart.

Your body hits the cold water before your brain can register it. You lose the rest of the air in your lungs as the cold shocks your body. You push yourself back up to the surface, gasping for air. Your eyes are blurry from the water.

“You know darling,” you spin yourself around in horror as his voice cuts through the air, “I have had people try to get my attention before in a lot of ways, but this? This is a new one.”

Astarion is smirking at you in the water with his head cocked to the side. You scowl.

“I wasn’t trying to get your attention I was trying to-” you stop yourself, “no. Nevermind.”

You pull yourself to shore and begin to angrily charge away from Astarion. Except you don’t get very far when he grasps your wrist.

“Wait,” he says softly, “it was a joke… I’m not very good at asking people about why they are running like a maniac in the woods. I never thought I would need to… well, have that particular skill set.”

You smile despite yourself before giving him a gentle push. Your nightmare still sits heavily in your stomach, but his smile makes your broken heart feel only warmth and laughter.

[illfoandillfie]

hey! tysm for the student smut blurb thing I requested a few months ago (I’m the one obsessed with curtains lol), it was amazing!

so I was thinking that roger would have been the type to buy the hitachi magic wand (like I can just picture him hearing about it, especially with going to Japan so much, and buying it to try out with his girlfriend) so could you maybe pretty please write something like that? like he hears about it on a trip to Japan and brings it home to try with reader (and maybe orgasm torture her a bit lol)? maybe it’s a Halloween or Christmas gift if you want to make it holiday-themed (or could just be a random gift, I don’t mind).

no worries if not ofc!

Blurb Advent 2023: Day 17

Oooo this is a fun one! Thanks for the request!

Warnings: sex toys - hitachi, little bit of overstim, kinda christmas related, mostly dom!rog but also a little bit switchy.

“You busy love?” Roger called out as he neared the living room.  You looked at the plate of crackers and cheese you’d just settled down with, intending to enjoy a trashy magazine with your afternoon snack, “Uhh, no, what is it?”   He was grinning as he walked towards the couch, before thrusting a present towards you, “Merry Christmas.”  “Oh!” More than a little surprised, you took the long rectangular git from him. The wrapping was a little messy and you could see a small area he’d patched up with a square of excess paper, though he'd tried to cover some of it with a bow.   “I know it’s a bit early,” he added, but I want you to have it now.  “Why? It’s not alive is it?”  “It’s not alive,” Roger laughed, “Just something I picked up for you while I was in Japan.”  You hummed as you gave the box a light shake, listening for any noise that might give away what it was. “But you’ve already given me a Japanese souvenir. I love my little lucky cat.”  “I know, but this is something else. Just open it love.”  “You’re very keen for me to open this box.”  “Well I thought you’d probably want to use it once you saw it.”  “And I couldn’t use it on Christmas Day?”  “Not until after our guests leave.”  You gave it another rattle, “Okay so not alive. Something I’ll want to use but not around others?”  “This would go quicker if you just ripped off the wrapping.”  “Is it that I can’t use it in front of others or I wouldn’t want to?”  “Well you can use it round me whenever you want but I imagine if you pulled it out on Christmas our families would be quite uncomfortable.”  “Oh so it’s dirty then.”  Roger answered with a cheeky grin.  That got you more excited and ready to move on from your teasing guessing game. Eagerly you tugged at the ribbon and then wrapping paper, making no effort to be neat. Fingers twitching with excitement, you worked the lid of the box off and.....didn’t know what you were looking at.   “It’s a massage wand,” Roger said, seeing your confusion, “like a vibrator thing.”  “I already have a vibrator.”  “Yeah but this one’s more powerful. It’ll get you off really really well.”  “Oh, okay.” you tried to sound enthusiastic when you were mostly just confused. The vibrators you were accustomed to were small, perfect for targeting a specific point, even of being worked into you. This thing seemed too large to be able to properly stimulate, not to mention big enough that it might as well have been a flashing neon sign outside your house that said WANKING.  “I thought you’d be more excited,” Roger said, his own enthusiasm faded.  “Sorry honey,” you cooed, swooping in to give him a small kiss, “I’m sure I’ll love it when I try it out. I just don’t quite see why I’d need another vibrator when I already have a good one.” You reached into the box to pull it out and found the power cord, “One I don’t need to plug into a wall to use.”  “That’s just cause you haven’t seen it on, you haven’t felt it yet.”  “And you have?” Your eyebrow was raised again.  “Just in the shop. And they were advertising it as a way to massage sore back muscles and stuff so it wasn’t like bad or anything. But I got to turn it on and get a sense of it. My hand was tingling after, it’s more powerful than you’d believe. Plus it really helped my back.”  You giggled at the thought of Roger being shown the gadget in a brightly lit store. It was somehow funnier than if he had found it in a seedy Japanese sex store.  “I thought it might be good for when I’m on tour and stuff but also that we could use it together. It’d be pretty hot making you cum like that.”  The idea did sound kind of fun and you hummed at the thought, “Okay yeah that does sound hot. Let’s try it out.”   “Now?”  “Yeah, now,”  Roger grinned again, “Just wait and see, you’ll lose your mind over it.” 

Roger ushered your quickly to the bedroom, pulling you into a kiss once you arrived. You giggled again at the effort he was going to to turn you on, his hands squeezing your butt, his lips moving to your neck as he worked on undressing you. You were very glad you had such a horny, attentive partner. Especially once he really started getting you worked up, gently tugging your hair and teasing your nipples as he removed your bra. He removed far less of his own clothing, much more interested in stripping you down to just your knickers. Even then, when he’d told you to hop on the bed, he made no move to shuck his jeans or tee. Instead he stepped around the side of the bed and bent down to plug your present into the wall.   You watched in anticipation. Even if you didn’t really believe this new toy would be much different to your old, it was still fun to share the experience with Roger.   He touched the head of the vibrator to your thigh, and you giggled as the light touch tickled. It was softer than you’d expected.   You stopped giggling when he turned it on, “Jesus.”   He’d drawn it away as he turned it on for the first time and you heard how loud it was. You’d not expected silence, that just didn’t exist in a vibrator, but you couldn’t help the idea of the neon sign popping back into your mind.   “It’s only loud because it’s good,” Roger reassured, “Just wait.”  You swore when he brushed the round head against your thigh again, not for long but for long enough for the feeling to linger.  Roger chuckled, “I told you it was powerful.” He moved it slightly higher up your thigh and you jolted at the feel of it on your more sensitive skin.  

He went slowly, inching it up your thigh, onto your hip, letting you adjust to the sensation of it before he stroked it over the crotch of your underwear. That alone was enough to have your breath catching in your throat. You’d played with sex toys before, you’d used a few different types of vibrators over the year, but this was different. You’d never felt anything like it. Its large size seemed suddenly to not only make sense (how else would such a motor fit inside) but to be a blessing in disguise. Anything smaller and the thing would have vibrated right out of Roger’s hand, if it didn’t destroy every nerve in your clit first.    Roger rubbed it along your knickers a few times, smirking at the growing wet patch it was creating.   “See love, it’s really working for you isn’t it? Already so wet. Should we see if it can make you cum just as easily?”  You whimpered a little as he wiggled your underwear down with one hand, the other maintaining a firm hold on the handle of the wand.   The vibrations were even more intense without the flimsy barrier of your panties. Once again, he only gave you a small taste before he moved the toy away, letting you get your bearings. But that little touch wasn’t enough and you quickly let Roger know you needed more.   He’d grinned and you just knew you’d be listening to him gloat for a week. Thankfully though he’d kept mum in the moment, making sure you were really ready before he brough the head of the wand to your clit.   After a matter of seconds you moaned. None of your other toys came close to feeling the same. The vibrations from the wand seemed to resonate outwards from where Roger was grinding it against your clit, the larger surface area from its tip and its double strength pulse making the pleasure radiate out through your cunt. Roger barely moved it but the occasional roll was all you needed for an unexpectedly quick orgasm to overtake you.  

“Holy shit Rog,” was the first thing you managed to say.  “And that was just on the lowest setting?”  “It has higher settings?!” You didn’t know whether to be amazed or horrified at the thought of even faster or more potent.   Roger laughed, “Yeah, 2 other speeds and then a few different patterns.” He clicked the button a few times and you heard its speed adjust slightly each time, until he stopped it on pattern that seemed to alternate between a short burst of vibrations and a sustained but softer buzz.   You squirmed where you lay, “Let me feel?”  Roger obliged, holding it back to your clit. Your orgasm built a little slower this time, the pattern keeping you from speeding towards release as quickly as before. But it still didn’t take as long as you knew it could for you to reach the edge, your orgasm hitting you hard and making you whimper as the continued vibrations overstimulated you.   “I knew it’d be good but fuck I could really torture you with this.” Roger pulled the toy away again and stopped the buzzing.  You could only groan at the thought, remarkably horny considering your two quick orgasms.  Roger laughed, “See, I knew you’d like it.”  Still laying back you nodded, blindly reaching out to pat his thigh but instead your hand found his stiff cock trapped in his jeans. A teasing, maybe I’ll just replace you, died on your lips as you realised how hard he was. Instead you said, “Do you wanna try it?”  “Try what, love?”  “Try the wand thing, whatever you call it. See how it feels with a cock.”  “Huh,” he considered your idea as you pushed yourself to sit up, “I’d thought about using it on you while I was fucking you but I hadn’t even thought of trying it on myself. Now that you’ve said it though I’m very keen.”  Laughing you took the toy from his loosened grip, giving the buttons some experimental presses, “Alright, pants off and lie down.”  Roger swallowed hard but did as you said. 

[hellcatinnc]

Kamigami No Asobi - Loki Game Review

Spoilers Ahead...

Ok where do I begin. So I have been wanting to play this game for months ever since I saw the anime show. However there is nothing but translations and most aren't done online. I may not play it all because it is harder to do without all the translations or english game patches but 3 men i can not take any more not knowing their love story. That being Loki, Hades, & Baldr. I plan to review them as well. Anyways on to Loki Laevatein....

If I wasn't in love with this man from just the anime well it got worse he stole my heart a thousand times over. I do not regret putting him on my top list of anime men. So I played both love endings as well as both fated just so I got the full story. Oh lord I prefer the love ending of course the fate ending was too sad to me. I hated that if you don't get enough points by the end you can't choose to go to their world been trying yet sadly have yet to be able to get it or a walkthrough maybe one day I'm just happy I got him anyways. Great thing is I wasn't expecting it but I couldn't choose his world so he gave his up to be with me and be human which he hates. Oh lord before I go any further this man moved me in ways I didn't think possible. I will even share some of his dialog that made me swoon in this review. Also damn I thought his voice was sexy before but then when he says baby at one point I was floored I could listen to him say baby all day long.

This was a good story honestly you saw how connected he was to Baldr which I always loved as well as Thor. You don't see them fighting for your love because Baldr is ok being just your friend and wanting his best friend to be happy. I think with the show they just try to throw them all in love with you at the same time so there are more confrontations but even then he loved Baldr like a brother. They stayed true to Loki he joked around even in the beginning when he started having feelings I think it was more about playing you out to see if there was something there. IDK but Yui had her work cut out for her chasing him around and dealing with his antics but it was so worth the man he became. I was floored he gave up being a god to be a human just because he couldn't see life without her. This means he gave up long life, and powers just so he could grow old with her. I'm actually glad I saw that ending first because it made me realize how in love he really was. if anything it makes me love him more. I also have to mention something about I guess the moles beside his eye make him even hotter. I know I got it bad but loki is drool worthy to me.

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These are some of the most precious things said that makes me love Loki even more.

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LOKI: You’re completely defenseless. …If you keep making such a cute face, I might kiss you. LOKI: It’s alright… I’ll never let you go.

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LOKI: I’ve never had someone so special to me like this. He gently wiped away the tears on my cheek with his long fingers. LOKI: I don’t want to part with you. I don’t even want to graduate if it means we can’t be together.

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(voice clips below of his sexy voice I own no rights to the voice clips or pictures of course.)

LOKI: Baby, I love you. So much, I could eat you up. I want you.

LOKI: If my princess wills it, I, Loki, promise you eternal love. Let us make a vow…

LOKI: Darling!♪ I looooove you so much!☆ My cute girl.♪

LOKI: My darling is so shy!☆ Oh, darling, call me honey!♪

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LOKI: A stubborn girl who was always tried her hardest to move forward, never giving up. At some point, I just couldn’t take my eyes off you. LOKI: I must’ve fallen in love from the very beginning. It was some kind of fate…

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LOKI: I really want to give you more and more presents. So many, you tell me you don’t want them anymore. LOKI: There are lots of things we still haven’t done. I want to make you smile more, and make you happy.

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LOKI: …I don’t want to give up. I can’t imagine us being apart. I can’t live without you! LOKI: I want you to let me love you more. I don’t want any more regrets.

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LOKI: What’s your name? YUI: I’m Kusanagi Yui. LOKI: Yui… that’s a nice name. It has a pleasant ring to it. Just from hearing his gentle voice say my name, my chest felt tight. I might have lost some very important memories… LOKI: I don’t know anything about myself. Not even my name… But I don’t feel anxious at all. LOKI: After meeting you, I think the reason I’m here… is you, Yui. LOKI: So, could you be by my side until I remember everything? LOKI: In exchange, I’ll give you everything you wish for… LOKI: My heart, my body, everything… is yours.

If you haven't played the game you should honestly find a translation online and go through it if you can't read japanese because it is so worth it just his story alone I was happy if I never play another route. If they ever bring this to english I will buy it just so I own it, it has become one of my favorite games now. I will probably do Hades next not sure yet.